Tuesday, January 22, 2013


You don't see it when we're walking through the store,
you don't hear it when we're chatting with family and friends.
It's not apparent when I'm doing dishes and he's working on the car.
I don't feel it when he's absorbed in his games
and I'm pining for his time.

But it's always there under the surface.
Often so quiet that it's never heard and can be taken for granted
leaving me wondering if it still exists at all.

But it's always there.

A heartbeat.

One very essential and amazing part of the whole.
Often so quiet that it can't be heard, so deep that it can't be seen.
Sometimes so loud as to be all consuming, and its beat pounds through my ears until it is all that I can hear.

Always there
always sustaining.
In every choice and in every decision.

A heartbeat.
Our D/s.

Often hard to hear over the chaos of daily life, it's steady and strong.
Occasionally rising to the surface and drowning out all other sounds.

It's like when I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Every time, there's a moment when I know that the sound of his life is my life. My whole life. Wrapped up in one quiet beat.
I can't hear his heart beat as we bicker about who drank all the coffee, or when he grabs me by the throat and shoves me up against the fridge, or when he runs his hands through my hair.
But his heartbeat is always there.
Shaping and sustaining my life.

In a way, our D/s is very much like that--a heartbeat you don't always hear, but which shapes your days and sustains your life.
It isn't often seen as we move through our daily lives. But we can see it in our veins, feel it's movement in our blood, hear it quietly in our ears.

Our D/s is a heartbeat with it's own rhythm and strength.


  1. Very good description. D/s at the heart of the relationship.

  2. wonderful analogy.

    Every time I open your blog, I want to take a walk in those woods.

    1. sunnygirl,
      thank you.
      I know right? And there's a notable lack of snow, which is making them far more attractive to me. Explains why they lasted more than a week lol.

  3. Wow! Perfectly said as always with your posts.

  4. Wow lil, so profound. Love it!

  5. Wonderful lil. Gosh I love to read your posts. Thank you!


    1. faithful,
      thank you, and you're quite welcome!

  6. you hear heartbeats,
    I hear ticking time bombs...

    I'll take Lil's World View for 200, please!

    1. Jz,
      well that world view was yesterday...Tomorrow it might be more along the lines of "Just push me off a bridge please" lol.

      That's the thing about heartbeats though isn't it--they are by nature, ticking time bombs with a finite life. And that's rather scary no matter what context you put it in.

  7. This is lovely Lil, beautifully written. As Bas said, D/s at the heart of the relationship. Thank you for sharing.


    1. Thank you Roz. Glad to hear that you enjoyed it.

  8. I really liked the way you describe that. It was beautiful

  9. Really liked this post lil. Lovely description :)

    Dee x

    1. Dee,
      ooh, I could get used to seeing you popping up around here again!
      Thank you.


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