Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Submission, Slavery, and Other Ramblings

After my whole little identity crisis a while back, I did what any codependent normal woman would do--I asked Alpha what I am.
See, I get one question after sex. Not having asked any for a while, I tried to claim that I had some banked up but he said I didn't get roll-over minutes lol.
His response was exactly what I thought it would be (with a couple of added bonuses). He said "Mine. You are a glorious amazing creature. And you are mine."

I think that submission is often about choosing to submit. Slavery is...No longer making that choice quite as often perhaps? Which, in theory, would make it a bit simpler...Though I do have every confidence in my ability to make anything complicated.
Every submissive becomes at least a little bit enslaved, every slave submits. So the lines are perhaps not extremely clear. Nor are they necessarily incredibly important except for assisting in personal definitions I suppose.

I see myself as property. I have rights--I accept the rights I am given. Not always gracefully, but I do accept them.
There are aspects of my life that he displays no interest in controlling. He governs other areas with an iron fist. And I have learned to accept that I don't choose those areas--to do so would not be submitting. That acceptance however, doesn't mean that I don't ever struggle with it (I think my last post highlights that quite blindingly lol).

I don't have my own limits (no need for the whole "what if he decides to cut off your leg?!" spiel), I have his limits. Chopping off limbs is among them, just in case anyone wanted to push the issue lol.

We often are, or become, what we see ourselves to be. Sometimes we become what others see us to be because we allow their image of us to overshadow our own.

Alpha used to tell me that I existed to be his slave. And that bothered me a lot. Because surely, there should be more meaning to my existence? But I think that I was looking at it through an excessively small window of view.
One single purpose does not negate all others.

He used to tell me that I was his slave. I would gasp and backpedal and deny it until I was blue in the face.
But that was before I realized that, for me, the foundation of D/s lies in his definitions of it. Within his definition of what I am.

If he says that I am his submissive, I am. If he says that I am his slave, I am.
Ultimately, what matters most is that, in both forms of speech, I am His. And we both know it.


  1. Hi lil,

    Yep! That's it, isn't it? And yes, mouse would agree that every submissive becomes a bit enslaved. It's can't, not happen. Thats a power exchange. We all become their perfection. It's simple and elegant; really mouse couldn't have it any other way.


    1. mouse,
      Nice to see you!
      I like what you said about becoming their perfection. And that's the key isn't it--their perfection. What they want and need as individual Masters and Dominants. Not what we or the world in general perceives as perfection.

  2. I get the exact same answer when I ask that question. No more than that - "Mine" sums it all up in his mind. I work hard to let it be enough in my head too. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not. He has no interest in the sub vs. slave question, and I have no way to break it down. You are dead on - I am what he says and that is what it is to be His. Nice writing here!

    1. gg,
      Thank you!
      Our husbands do seem to think along the same lines quite often don't they? Perhaps that is one of the reasons why our struggles often have similarities lol.

  3. I find it strange how submission/ slavery blurs with codependency -- I struggle with THAT distinction at the moment.

    On the rest of your post, oh my YES YES YES. I might constantly shift my views of my world, but His viewpoint on me (being His), is true, steady, and solid. Thank you, once again, for somehow reaching in my brain and voicing it so much more eloquently than I ever could. Also, yay for you too! :P

    1. Senator,
      I did use the word "codependency" didn't I? I do think though that there are different levels of dependency, and not all of them are as unhealthy as we perceive codependency to be.

      Odd how we can flitter around like that and they just stay solid. Thank goodness for that though--something has to be constant!

      Thank you.

  4. I often tell my girl that whatever she is, be it a Lady, a slut, a wife, a submissive or a slave or any of a dozen others it is always the word "my" in front of it that actually matters.

    1. Sir J,
      And as simple as it is, as much as I realize that D/s is an undercurrent in everything, this concept has taken me a ridiculously long time to grasp--that belonging to someone doesn't negate being anything else, that I can be anything and always be his at the same time.

      Thank you for stopping by.

  5. Yes. It is the preposition of the word "Mine" that sums it up and it is also in the choosing to live by His limits ;o) Love this post, lil.

    1. Bleuame,
      quite the magic word isn't it?
      Thank you!

  6. I love the "one question after sex" lol

    Actually i just love this whole post, it sums it up perfectly it is that 'mine' that just makes it whatever it means to you and him.

    Now see how come you can make it all sound reasonable and i need to make it complicated!


    1. tori,
      I so don't love the one question after sex lol--because I'm either to fuzzy to think of anything, or I have like ten and end up picking the most meaningless one lol.

      Well, making it sound reasonable and actually being/seeing reasonable is a whole different story lol.

  7. I've been struggling with the same thing a lot lately. I actually wrote a post today about how I overcame it for myself if you want to check it out. He's right, though, in that bottom line you're his and that's really all that matters. Still, sometimes we need to define it for ourselves and I've come to realize there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe what I did might help you as well.



    1. Turiya,
      it's interesting how defining things is one of the ways we help ourselves understand our places.
      I read your post and tried to read the article you linked to, but for some reason I couldn't get it to show the side of the article, so I was only able to read half-sentences lol.


Play nice.