I have this teensy-weensy problem...
I equate yielding with quitting, giving up, throwing in the towel, lying down on the battlefield and dying, etc. You get the picture.
To many medieval books as a child or something lol.
While the tendency to hang on with bleeding fingernails and never give up, works pretty good on a chessboard, and has served me fairly well in life, it's not a great recipe for submission.
Real shocker right?
Something interesting happened when I made a conscious decision to yield. There was no immediate and obvious change in our relationship. There was a noticeable lack of fireworks and incredible displays of power exchange.
There were also a notable lack of battles of will.
Alpha always said that he wanted my will to be his. That Dominance and submission meant nothing without free will. Specifically, my free will and the fact that I would offer it to him of my own accord. Not in token form, not in the way of "If I give this, then I will get that," but in the form of yielding all with a complete willingness with the desire to be nothing more or less than his.
The surrender of a strong will being far more of a conquest than anything taken in duress.
There were no fireworks, no earth shattering shakes of the foundation.
But I felt...Different.
And I realized that I would be willing to go as far as he would take us.
I realized that I was far more willing to go to extremes than I wanted to admit to him or myself.
I realized that I had become malleable, and craved the molding process.
I realized that submission led to yielding, and surrender was a product of that process.
And I realized that it felt good. It felt...Right.
I began to wonder if my willingness and occasional overwhelming need to swim in the deep end, made me a nightmare or a wet dream for him.
Truth be told, I think he's still trying to decide which one.
I surrendered my free will to him. Ultimately, that means yielding to however he chooses to use it, whether that's just a little, or quite a lot.
Though, I hate to think of the possibility of a perfectly good and stubborn will not being used to it's full potential...