Alpha doesn't like it when I get off track and can't seem to get back in my place. And I should have known I was headed for one of those funky "off" cycles. After all, I did have a bit of a breakthrough...Then I gave notice at my job and life got even more insane than usual.
He will let me wander a bit and wait for me to come around with gentle reminders. But it's hard for me to get back in my place. And He's taken it pretty easy on me since the accident (pain is apparently only fun if He is actively causing it. The whole "omg, something locked up and I can't turn my head" thing is a real downer for face fucking and a multitude of other crimes lol).
Alpha isn't happy when I'm not in my place. And truth be told, I'm not either. When I am secure in submission, held firmly by His Dominance, is when I am at my best. The most happy, stable, safe...complete. But for some reason it's difficult to get back to that place, the place where my submission comes before all other thoughts and actions, where our natural states consume us and we are simply Master and sub.
For a while He will softly summon me back. If that doesn't work? The rose He has extended grows thorns. And He makes me grab it, squeeze until there's nothing left in my mind besides Him, until the only pain that matters is the kind He causes, until every breath I take is His once again.
And I am back where I belong. At home in my place.