Alpha doesn't like it when I get off track and can't seem to get back in my place. And I should have known I was headed for one of those funky "off" cycles. After all, I did have a bit of a breakthrough...Then I gave notice at my job and life got even more insane than usual.
He will let me wander a bit and wait for me to come around with gentle reminders. But it's hard for me to get back in my place. And He's taken it pretty easy on me since the accident (pain is apparently only fun if He is actively causing it. The whole "omg, something locked up and I can't turn my head" thing is a real downer for face fucking and a multitude of other crimes lol).
Alpha isn't happy when I'm not in my place. And truth be told, I'm not either. When I am secure in submission, held firmly by His Dominance, is when I am at my best. The most happy, stable, safe...complete. But for some reason it's difficult to get back to that place, the place where my submission comes before all other thoughts and actions, where our natural states consume us and we are simply Master and sub.
For a while He will softly summon me back. If that doesn't work? The rose He has extended grows thorns. And He makes me grab it, squeeze until there's nothing left in my mind besides Him, until the only pain that matters is the kind He causes, until every breath I take is His once again.
And I am back where I belong. At home in my place.
I think every sub feels like this.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are times when a Master can't be holding the leash all the time (ie work, illness etc), but I dont think that matters.
What matters is what you described; that a Master has the ability to put a sub back in their place.
If a Master failed at that, then what would be the fun in submitting? Its almost like the test of what a Master is made of.
And I confess, I'm guilty of pushing Master to put me back in my place... because I adore it when he does (even if at the time I'm none to keen on his methods!)
Glad your back to your happy place :)
Sometimes I wish we subs could put the Dom back in our doms!
ReplyDeleteI definitely relate to this. Stress happens, and before I know it, I find myself getting pulled out of my place, thinking I need to, when really I don't. Oh the tears I've cried going in and out of my place. *In it* is always better.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that submissive feeling wonderful?!
ReplyDeleteKitty
It sucks being in that place -I'm glad you've found your way back "home" though -even if you were dragged there by your hair! *LOL*
ReplyDeleteNo but seriously, glad you're back in your place, where you feel the best.
I love your descriptions of all this. It's so hard sometimes to retain that submissive mindset even though it is where we are at our best.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back where you belong!
OnlyHis, funny how we need it so bad, disagree with the methods used, and come tumbling back in happy when it happens lol.
ReplyDeleteMindset, I think we can...It's just a little more complicated. Well...I think so anyways lol...
K, I find stress usually gives me a great big shove out of where I want to and should be. Yes, in it is always better. So true.
Kitty, it truly is.
Sweet girl, lol yes, and I even still have hair left to drag my by next time too.
Serenity, it does amaze me sometimes how difficult it can be to stay in a place you need so badly!