I realized something last night--sex without kink doesn't turn me on. At all. I know, huge newsflash right. But it kind of was to me (always the last to know, what can I say). I mean, I know kink turns me on. Obviously. But I hadn't quite realized the extent to which I find it necessary in order to be turned on at all.
My genius realization came while watching some stupid skin flick on TV. You know, the "weally weally wannabe porn, but acting is even worse and sex is obviously fake" kind of show.
And I found it...mildly irritating. And for no real reason besides the fact that there was no kink whatsoever. Well, it was corny as all hell too, but I could have tolerated that on it's own.
And for a minute I wondered, is there something a little bit wrong with me? I mean, watching people fuck is supposed to turn some kind of sex cogs in a person's brain right? Okay, so I wondered for more than a minute--probably still am lol.
The thing is, sex without kink not only doesn't turn me on--it actively turns me off. Isn't that just a little bit wrong?
I knew how much kink turns me on. I just never actually realized how much a lack of it turns me off...
For me it's the control. I suppose that is a type of kink. But I can't get anywhere unless there is an aspect of control, no matter how vanilla the sex itself may seem.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed to really solidify after Master and I had been together for a while. I used to get turned on in general from sexuality...after I had a taste of what I wanted though, a switch seemed to go off in my head...
You know, any kind of sex on film has never tickled my turn-on button. A well-posed photo, some nice text, the real thing...yeah. For the photos/text to work there has to be some obvious kink.
ReplyDeleteIf it's the real thing then there's always been kink in my head, so I don't know if it'd work for me without it. I wouldn't be me I guess.
I so agree with you! I've blogged about this myself - I get absolutely nothing from vanilla sex. Zip, zilch, zero. I would rather watch the paint dry. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's the dominance that does it for me.
ReplyDeleteHi, I am a virgin to your site. I like this post. I can't say that I am quite as kinky as you all but I can appreciate what you are saying. The deeper I get into kinky sex(or maybe in my case is is mearly one step above missionary position), the more the old stuff just seems OLD. Also agree about the porn. I need to see more than just the standard blow job shit to get into it.
ReplyDeleteNeopolitan baby! All flavors rolled into one!
ReplyDeleteWith a side of rocky road!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's an addiction, I tell ya! I never realized how much a lack of it turns me off either, until your post.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's anything wrong with being wired that way. But do you just mean the concept of/watching sex without kink or the act of doing it as well? I only ask because the answers might be different for each.
ReplyDeleteagog, I hear you about that switch. Not an easy one to flip back either.
ReplyDeleteconina, with you there-- personally I just find porn without kink annoying. I spend the whole time critiquing the people lol.
maui girl, it is a bit like watching paint dry isn't it?
sin, it's just not the same without Dominance. I guess the saying "sex is sex" doesn't really apply huh.
Mindset, I always did like eating the chocolate out of neopolitans and scraping the vanilla off to the side lol.
avery, it is an addiction. And the brain tends to freak while the body goes through withdrawal.
J, mostly watching sex without kink. Though I don't really enjoy doing it either. It's almost like not having His control/Dominance leaves to much space in my head to wander off and watch the daisies grow or plan the shopping, or just disasociate completely. Before ttwd, I didn't like sex much and would usually do pretty much anything to avoid it.