I'm in one of Those moods...You know, the kind where Alpha walks up to me with the wooden spoon and I use my eyes to dare Him to beat the shit out of me. "Oh yes, beat me. I don't just want to know that you are bigger and badder--I need to feel it in the core of my being. Because I feel like the biggest meanest dog on the block. Prove me wrong. Bring it on."
Oh yea, I know that's a recipe for tears lol.
It's largely because the boy has taken rotten to a whole new level over the last couple of days.
I was watching this (ignore the advertisement), and there's a scene where he punches the wall next to her head. I laughed. There's a hole in my bedroom wall from years ago...My head was inches away from it when Alpha put it there. We used to rage at each other like caged animals.
I learned early on in life, even if you have nothing to prove? You always have something to lose. Weakness is like blood in the water. And you never ever let them smell your fear.
And just sometimes, that crazy raging little bitch rears her head.
Alpha's Dominance tames my rage. Sometimes I think it makes me weak, this being on my knees and striving to please.
But when I look at that hole in our wall? I wonder what I would have become without Him.
I would have probably found plenty of men willing to go straight for my head instead of the wall. And been a randomly fucked little whore chasing blood in the water.