I changed the comment format so hopefully there won't be any more issues with not being able to post comments. Sometimes I think that Blogger just likes messing with me...
I read this post by kytten, where she muses about the possibility that she doesn't fit in here. Then I read one by kaya, who says her Master and herself don't fit the M/s mold.
They got me to thinking--what is a M/s or a D/s relationship, what defines whether we are "doing it right" or not? Perhaps the solution is simple and we are all just doing it wrong lol.
So what is the typical D/s relationship? An omnipotent Master who never makes mistakes, doesn't fall in love, and never bows to anyone? A submissive who is always on her knees, never falls on her face, and lives her life chained to the bed wanting only to serve?
Truth be told, I have come to believe that the "typical" relationship is a fantasy. It's propagated across social boards, various websites, and in the minds of ourselves when we doubt our relationships or ourselves.
It's easy to compare and contrast, to see where we fall short and others soar above. But for the most part, we see only what we are allowed--we get the glimpses we are given. And not everyone wants to say they were up all night with puking kids, or their car broke down, or they had a knockdown dragout fight. Sometimes it's simply because they feel such things have no place on their blog or place of expression and that's completely understandable.
Other times I think it's because people don't like seeming less than perfect. As if the reality of life should not be seen because it is...Less than perfect. Less than fantasy.
Which leads me to a comment Jz once wrote, about the individuality of ttwd. She felt that the single biggest thing every beginner should know is that each relationship is unique, that ttwd is different for each person because it is an individual experience.
That's not something you see scattered across message boards or displayed prominently on websites. And I think that is perhaps a disservice to people who are just starting to explore the nature of ttwd.
There is a fantasy of the perfect Master. The perfect slave. And it's a fantasy outside of reality. A fantasy that we occasionally fall prey to believing, or we simply shake our heads and wander off to browse pastures that appear less green.
So what is ttwd?
It is a relationship entwined in the exchange of power. The rest is simply what we figure out along the way, how we grow together, and what works for us as individuals.
There are a million ways to do it wrong, but is there really any one "right" way where we all fit in perfectly? I doubt it.
There's simply the fantasy of such. Otherwise, we would all just be doing it wrong wouldn't we?