Sunday, January 15, 2012

Like Water

When life is disrupted and crazy, there comes a certain point where I no longer want D/s.
Repression is, unfortunately, my specialty.

Then after a while, this terrifying realization dawns on me (yea I know, my "realization" is not a news flash or some new major surprise), and I have to accept the fact that I need D/s.

I suppose it would sound dramatic to say it's a need like the physical requirement for air, and that wouldn't be exactly true either...It's more like water in the desert--you can go without for a while. At first you even feel okay, and you think you'll be fine without it for as long as you have to.

After a while, you realize that you really won't be okay without it. That you don't want it merely to sate your thirst--you need it.

And then when you get it, there's a temptation to gorge, but your body rejects it because it's too much at once...

I still wonder when exactly ttwd became a need? No longer a want for pleasure or pain, but an unavoidable need for his control. His pain. His Dominance. An inexplicable craving to be owned.

And feel it.

Every day.

Wouldn't it be convenient if it was all just a game, and could be turned off and on at will?
But that would be a bit like dipping your toes in the oasis--why play on the edges when you can dive right in?

D/s is a bit like water--it's one of those needs beyond want.

I think I can live without it for a while...But eventually I will, beg, cry, and crawl for even just one drop.

Because I need it.

18 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. mouse,
      I feel like I'm finally starting to make some sense through the clouds again.

      Delete
  2. your post resonated a little of what I'm feeling right now while trying to write my post right now although I'm nowhere near as articulate as you are :) Great post lil.

    Dee x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dee,
      it's about time I gained back some ability to articulate beyond my weeks of complaining!
      Thank you.

      Delete
  3. I wonder, does the dessert make the water all the sweeter?

    L :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. little one,
      I think it does. Because if you never know the dry sands, it's hard to have as much appreciation for the oasis.

      Delete
  4. Excellent post and I agree with you wholeheartedly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His Slut,
      thank you. And it's always nice to be agreed with!

      Delete
  5. i have to agree. i don't want to, i want it not to be true, but it is...

    aisha

    btw - your blog won't let me comment with my wordpress identify - weird, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aisha,
      funny how tempting it can be to deny certain truths isn't it?
      Is it just my blog that won't let you comment with your wordpress identity, or blogger blogs in general? I've been having some issues with blogger for a while and they seem to be evolving versus disappearing lol.

      Delete
  6. and doesn't it just suck when you come to that realization?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vixen,
      oh yes! Denial becomes not nearly as productive lol.

      Delete
  7. thanks for the post :) so right!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ALuv,
      You are quite welcome, and thank you.

      Delete

Play nice.