This week is insane. What on earth made me think it was a good idea to do the good parenting bit and enroll them in a week long soccer camp guaranteeing myself three hours a day in the car and a work schedule that is just plain wrong?
But, as much as I tried to turn it off, my mind is still rolling. So before I curl up and--oh wait, they need food too?! Wtf--ahem, before I eventually go to sleep, I thought I would get rid of some excess brain clutter.
The other day, someone asked me if Alpha and I had always had this dynamic. My answer was an automatic "no."
Then I started thinking (still trying to quit that. What can I say), in a way this arrangement of power was not new to us.
I think that the realization of how far it could be taken, and that we could agree on it as a way of life was new. And the agreement that it wasn't a game and that's how our relationship was going to be structured settled our power struggles to a minimum.
Really though, those realizations and agreements did change things in a huge way.
Looking back at how far we have come makes me smile. It reminds me how far we have come. And that perhaps much of my internal struggle and worry is totally unnecessary--because where we are is no longer where we were, and where we are going is like one of those roads that wanders so far into the distance that you can't see the end of it.
And you can't make it anywhere by skipping steps. You just take your time and travel your path and the beauty comes in the discoveries made along the way.