Monday, September 24, 2012

A Formspring and Other Random Things

Someone asked me a question via Formspring about Thing1 and Thing2.
No, they are not my children. They are Alpha's little sisters. Given circumstances and the age difference, he pretty much raised them himself.
I wondered if I should put up a cast of characters on the sidebar...But then I decided that I will not admit to bitching about them that much lol.

Now on to other random things...

Apparently, it is easy to be pleasantly surprised when one has low expectations. Fil actually showed up to the kiddo's soccer game.

Looking at them standing together, something struck me that I had not noticed in the previous fourteen years--while he has a smaller body mass, Alpha is actually taller than his father.
Seeing him standing back on his heels with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders noticeably lacking the particularly raised and tight formation they usually have in his father's presence, I realized that, while he has always been Dominant, I am not the only one our power exchange has changed.

Alpha has nothing left to prove. He is who he is. Anything he had to prove, he has done so for himself regardless of anyone else's acknowledgement or realization.
And he's not just taller than his father--he really and truly is a bigger man with a sense of self acceptance that I have often envied over the years. Yet, he extends that same acceptance to me.

And I find myself eternally grateful for this man who entered my life and took me away from the downward spiral that I had happily thrown myself into
who provided for me long before I had a concept of what it was to provide for oneself

who, when I left him, haunted my dreams until I returned
and believed in me long after I quit believing in myself

this man who let me go years later, so that I could return to him of my own volition and become his property
who tells me I'm brilliant and when to shut up

this man with huge hands who gently brushes the hair out of my face and kisses my forehead

who ties me to the bed and treats me like a filthy whore

this man who values my opinions and still tells me what to do
who is both arrogant and humble

this man who chained me down so that I could be free and who has consistently forced me to be...Me.

I am grateful. Because he has always been there for me.
They say that submission is a gift--Alpha tells me that it is anyways. And chances are, he's right.
But I am deeply grateful for the gift of his Dominance. I am extremely proud, not only of the man he is, but of the Dominant he has become.

So there you have it my love--your disagreeable one is not so secretly head over heels in love with you.
Even if it was somewhat disappointing that you wouldn't admit to having a crush on me because your wife wouldn't approve. lol.

26 comments:

  1. This was beatiful Lil! I loved it. It's so nice to step back and see where we have come from and whom we traveled that road with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Kat.
      Sometimes it's easier to see when we step back for a wider view.

      Delete
  2. This was extremely touching, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dancingbarez,
      thank you, and you are welcome.

      Delete
  3. Stunningly beautiful. The love and devotion you have for Alpha seeps into every word.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Replies
    1. Mindset,
      lol, yes.
      He tells me I dish out compliments like the last drop of water on earth.

      Delete
  5. Beautiful post Lil.
    You are thankful for the changes he brought to you. He is thankful for the changes you brought to him.
    There is no action without reaction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Bas.
      And for the most part, we have gotten to the point where our actions/reactions are positive ones. It may have taken a little while to sink in lol.

      Delete
  6. Good to hear that father in law turned up..perhaps there is hope after all!

    You are both lucky to have one another and both happy and thats a lot to be thankful for

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      I'm thinking that as long as none of us hope to much, there might be! lol.
      It is a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes I have to step back a bit to see just how thankful I am.

      Delete
  7. Wonderful love letter. Letting go can be the hardest things but offers the greatest rewards when it comes back to you.

    Glad FIL didn't disappoint.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      Thank you.
      Me too. And we won't hold out excess hope, but it was a great day for the kiddo.

      Delete
  8. This is beautiful. I find when I step back and look at my husband, rather than take him for granted, I realise how much I love him and how grateful I am that he loves me enough to enable and help me to be the best I can be. (if that makes sense)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarah,
      Thank you.
      It makes perfect sense. Over time, it's easy to take them for granted. It's always good to remember how much we value them.

      Delete
  9. A lucky woman you are, and a lucky man he is.

    ReplyDelete
  10. so beautiful... and sincere... i loved it. thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aw loved this post lil!! :) and also glad your fil did the right thing.

    Dee x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dee,
      thank you.
      I'm glad too. We won't hold our breath for a miraculous reoccurrence, but it was good.

      Delete
  12. That was just lovely. I actually had tears well up in my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lea. I'm glad you found it touching.

      Delete
  13. Self assurance is always a wonderful quality in a man. It's always refreshing to hear about two people who love and respect each other

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Little Mises,
      It is a wonderful quality.
      Thank you.

      Delete

Play nice.