It surprises me that most of my Google hits come from the search term "submissive." Shouldn't really be a newsflash right? I mean it is in the title and all...
Maybe it surprises me because I remember being the person doing the searching, not the writing. Or maybe it's because I don't really feel like a shining example of a submissive.
Yes, that's definitely it.
So that got me to thinking, what then would a shining example look like? And why do I feel like I'm not one of them?
The truth is, I probably don't read many of the ones who look like constantly shining examples of perfect submission.
I like the stories of those who try, fall, and get up to try again. I like the stories written by submissives who are searching and questioning and always trying to discover something just a little bit deeper. And the ones with a sense of humor about it all just make me laugh. And I like that.
I like following those stories because I can identify with them. Because they expand the way I think and make me smile. Because they are real.
And ultimately, I believe that perfection is an illusion--that the closest any of us will ever get is being perfect for someone.
So why do I feel like an unreliable source of information for that particular search term? I think it's because I feel like I spend a lot of time falling flat. I don't see myself as a shining example of submission. Though for the most part, Alpha seems to think I'm alright so that's what really matters right.
Maybe I could write the "How Not to Do It Manual for Submissives" lol.
While I'm on the subject of keywords, I almost hate to say it because it might happen again, but it's too ridiculous not to share--I'll do it really quietly.
I got a hit off the search "French toast mindfuck."
It's one of those deeply disturbing things...That made me laugh.
I agree with you. I am trying to picture the world filled with perfect submissives and all I can think of is how f**king boring that would be for everyone.
ReplyDeletesunnygirl,
Deleteright? Where's the fun in that. That's kind of the view Alpha takes too...Thank God lol.
Lol sunnygirl. I choked on my coffee there!
DeleteFrench toast mindfuck? That's awesome!! Don't you wonder what, exactly, they were looking for when they entered that? Really, that's way cool.
ReplyDeleteaisha
aisha,
DeleteLOL. Yes, I really do wonder. But I'm kind of afraid...I also wonder what on earth I have here that get's them?! Well, I used to wonder. Now there will be no doubt lol.
or perhaps those that try and fail and try again are in fact the perfect submissives.
ReplyDeleteSir J,
DeleteI hadn't thought of it like that...I like your perspective.
I think a lot of feel that way. Just saw someone else has the slogan "Doing it wrong since 2009".
ReplyDeleteFrench toast mindfuck is conjuring up a lot of images for me, all of them syrupy delicious.
ancilla,
DeleteHmm, I hadn't thought of it in terms of something yummy...More a slight fear of what on earth they had in mind lol.
you know if we keep saying french toast mindfuck... will that come up again? or if it does, will it almost guarantee your blog will show up as a hit?
ReplyDeletestill, as ancilla says - i'm having syrupy images of warm breakfast yummies in my head... and i can almost taste it too!
Fondles,
Deleteyou guys forgot to whisper! Now, as ancilla so kindly pointed out, I'm fourth in line on google for it. Sigh. So much for incognito.
I'm afraid to look and see what the first three are.
Of you write that book, I cold most certainly be a guest writer. I think the important thing is that we get back up and try again.
ReplyDeletedancingbarez,
DeleteI agree.
And maybe I should do a funny monthly post and round up contributions from blogland about doing it wrong...
Ah yes, googling "french toast mind fuck" this is the fourth hit down. LOL
ReplyDeleteancilla,
Deleteit is now completely clear to me why piece calls you names. Stop saying it! And for god's sake, don't come here from that search!
LMAO
I think perfection is an illusion, we can only strive to be the best we can, and im a firm believer that mistakes have to happen to learn from (i say that a lot in the classroom to the point the kids roll their eyes at me lol)....5 steps forward, 3 steps back it feels like a lot but its still going forward...albeit with stumbles inbetween.
ReplyDeletelmao at the french toast mindfuck!
x
tori,
Deleteis there really any such thing as always moving forwards without going back just a bit?
You just had to say it...What on earth are these people doing to toast??
oh yes probably but i havent discovered it yet, i seem to jog along really well and its all going great and then well you know i think i get complacent..i wander if thats it?
Deletetori, you know, I find that complacency is a bit of a problem for me--I jog along like you said, then I slip into being complacent and before I know it I'm in hot water.
DeleteAgree with you, lil, though...sometimes I find reading a blog about a consistent and constant whine on the same subject a little boring. Must try not to ever do that *sheepish grin*
ReplyDeleteBleuame,
DeleteI agree--all whine all the time gets bit boring (I find it especially boring when it's me doing the whining lol). Though we all have good and bad days.
Not that there's anything wrong with having good ones and writing about them either, I just know for a fact no one has good ones every damn day of the year.
And sometimes it's nice to see other people admit they're human too.
And can I just say...Thank you for not saying anything about toast.
Dear Lil,
ReplyDeleteLuckily I belong to the category 'Submissives who will never learn'. Years ago I felt hurt when this was told to me, I tried to convert to what was expected of me (as being a good submissive) but I always got in conflict with other parts of me.
One day I just let go, I was convinced that the way I am is good. I know for sure I will never bore a partner, or a Dom. Those who tried to bent me into something I am not were not able to see the true treasures that lay hidden inside me.
Luckily I married someone who does she them, he gives me space to be the woman I am. A bit submissive, a bit masochist, a bit spankee, a bit femme fatale, a bit of everything and always surprising :-)
Bye the way, nice blog and writings you share here.
Love Femme Fessee
Femme Fessee,
DeleteLol--you are not alone in your category to be sure.
Something I'm really trying to work on is not defining my own submission--because what I think it should be is not always what he thinks it should be. So I'm trying to look at it a little differently.
Thank you--I'm always glad to hear when the blog is enjoyed.
My mind is stuck on the toast....Would that be a M---F--- that tastes good? Feels good? Involves egg?
ReplyDeleteI am opposed to perfection in all things.....except that He is perfect for me!
Saoirse,
DeleteI did muse about it for a while. Perhaps it's putting something gross in it to mess with someone?
Whatever it's about, I do apparently have the google market cornered at number four lol.
Lil,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this.....I am so very new to all of this and oh my.....I don't think I will ever be perfect.....as a matter of fact, I know I won't be! But I am going to give it my best shot! LOL! And just keep on trying:) Fall down and get back up, laugh, shake it off, and do it again...and again....and again:) I think reading about someone who does everything so right all the time, would get quite boring and wouldn't seem real! I like real people! Ones that make mistakes and do those crazy things in life that make it so interesting! Ones that make me laugh out loud when I read their post while I am sitting at work and then I am asked what I am laughing at! LOL! Anyways....I am rambling! Sorry hehehehe! Can't help myself:) Again great post and thanks for sharing:)
Belle:)
Belle,
DeleteYou are quite welcome.
It would get boring. And it would also be very similar to attempting to live up to an airbrushed magazine model lol.
Ramble to your hearts content lol--I can't help myself either when it comes to that.
I agree - it's way more interesting to read about the struggle, what's difficult for people exploring submission, etc.
ReplyDeleteRenee,
Deletefor me it's not so much even the struggle itself--it's knowing that they are expressing reality and that things aren't always all lovely roses and whips.
French toast mindfuck? Hahaha. Those poor people lol! I personally, love your blog and your views, your humour and your honesty. And who the hell wants to be perfect anyways?!
ReplyDeleteI'll help you write that book :)
Dee x
Dee,
Deleteyou just had to say it didn't you?! Lol.
Thank you.
lil, the most boring thing in the world would be to be in a relationship with the perfect submissive. There would be no struggle, there would be no challenges, there would be no personality (because we all know that one's flaws are what gives one personality, right?)...I'd hate that. It's exactly the imperfections that make life worth living and one's mate worth loving. They are what make them them.
ReplyDeleteI far prefer my imperfect wife, who challenges me every day and with whom I have to fight for every scrap of progress! How much greater the triumph when things go well!
I suspect that Alpha must feel the same way about you.
This doesn't really explain the french toast thing, though. Can't help you with that...
Jake,
DeleteOoh, I like that--I just have lots of personality!
And whatever is up with the toast, apparently if anyone ever googles that term again, they are sure to find me now lol.
F--- the toast, I'm googling "roses and whips" :)
ReplyDeleteLol Emen. Sounds much more interesting and far less disturbing than the whole toast thing.
Delete