Saturday, September 22, 2012

Transcending the Blueprint

I believe that sometimes we very much become what we have learned to be. And it can be rather difficult to get beyond that. That's not always a bad thing. It just depends on what we have learned.

I think that one of the reasons I crave D/s and the closeness that comes with it is because of the way it helps me to step outside of the bonds of physical reality and into the one we create for ourselves.

In 1960, Maxwell Maltz proposed that,

"We all carry with us a mental blueprint or picture of ourselves. It has been built up from our own beliefs about ourselves. But most of these beliefs about ourselves have unconsciously been formed from our past experience, our successes and failures, our humiliations, our triumphs, and the way other people have related to us, especially in early childhood. From all these we mentally construct a "self" (or a picture of a self). Once an idea or a belief about ourselves goes into this picture it becomes "true" as far as we personally are concerned. We do not question its validity, but proceed to act upon it just as if it were true."

I do find it a bit odd to be posting quotes from a plastic surgeon/self help author. Still, I found it and thought that it was an interesting concept lol.

It's an interesting concept to me because of what happens in those moments when I step away from that blueprint.

As a client observed yesterday, I have a pretty firm grasp of who I am (by this point in life I kinda think I damn well should). But that grasp is often defined by circumstances and what we think ourselves to be.

I don't think that our blueprint is necessarily a bad thing--it gives us an individual basis for existence and makes us unique. Our blueprint helps us function and define who we are within the context of the world.

By the same token, we see the world through the veil of our own beliefs--the thoughts and ideals that we have formed over time.

BDSM, that deep space and connection formed when Dominating and submitting, helps me to transcend that blueprint. I also believe that D/s helps us change the basics of that blueprint.
In those moments of submission is when I leave the blueprint behind and simply exist as I am--without those preconceived notions of who I am and how things are or should be.

In that space we create, all previous ideas and ideals fade away. Lines blur and the basic blueprint of my beliefs, thoughts, and troubles, disappear.

That is where I am only his. Nothing more, and nothing less.


  1. That quote is very interesting (and the source WAS surprising). I have often contemplated if we can change our path. And I have come to realize that we can, but it is a minimum of 18 months to redirect yourself in a way that really sticks. It has to be intentional and it has to take time. Otherwise, we just float along with who we are.

    Not sure if that makes any sense. And while I have seen this applied in my professional life, I had been pondering if it was also true for my acceptance of my need to be in this dynamic.

    1. Kitty,
      It does make sense. For those of us with little patience, it's a bit difficult to put into practice though lol.

      I think that things like this can be applicable in more ways than we often give them credit for.

  2. That must feel really nice...

    1. Jz,
      now if only it happened on a more regular basis...
      I'm not greedy, nuh uh.

  3. I loved your second to last paragraph! Meaningful!

  4. wonderfully said especially the last line

  5. Replies
    1. Lileah,
      It's always nice to be agreed with.


Play nice.