Sunday, September 16, 2012

Realizing Potential

One of the things that Alpha has always done for me is to encourage me to meet my potential.
But I have noticed that he is much more proactive and adamant about it since starting our forays into power exchange.

For me, one of the drawbacks of consistent over thinking, is doubting myself and my abilities.
The thing is, while he gets the final say, while he is more than happy to bend me to his will and control me, he also demands that I live up to my potential outside of our relationship.

I know it might not sound like a very big deal, but also think that there is a fairly common misconception that having a submissive means making her less than she is. And yes, sometimes I am very much less than my whole. But it can actually be really nice to let everything else go and just be...His. Nothing else.

Sorry, got distracted already.
Okay, now I remember what I was originally going on about.

He has this amazing faith in me that often surpasses my faith in myself.
Sometimes he soothes away my fears, often he laughs them away as if they are simply silly little obstacles of my own making, and he occasionally growls in frustration. Okay, so more than occasionally lol.

Where I see flaws, he sees unrealized potential. Where I see a chance to fall flat, he sees an opportunity to fly. When I hear the low road calling, he pushes me down the high road with a grin that dares me to challenge him.

When I sat and cried in frustration at algebra, he raised his eyebrows and said "You live in that damn book. You'll be great."
And I was. Because I tried.
It admittedly took an unnatural amount of effort--but I lived, ate, breathed, bitched, and obsessed over every class. And earned nothing less than a very solid 4.0.
Okay, technically I made it a little over that, but people seem to think that it's really annoying when someone places that much importance on good grades lol.

I make pretty decent money. I also come crawling home cursing my day and the powers that be for having a skill set that is more demanding than my body agrees with.
So he tells me that I am free to quit, but if I do I had better damn well do something that I really enjoy.

I know that my grammar leaves something to be desired, and I'm pretty sure that my punctuation can be downright atrocious. And those are, (in my mind) great reasons for not doing what I love most.
He doesn't see it like that. He growls at me and tells me that I won't really know if I never try.

And if the stories in my head ever make it to paper? It will be because his faith in me outweighed the doubt I have of myself.
Because, as he says--wasting potential is a far worse crime than having no potential at all.


  1. How wonderful tp have such solid support, and the occasional kick in the butt when needed too :)

    1. faerie,
      as much as I fight it, ahem, it really is wonderful.

  2. Sounds to me like he's doing great in the supportive role. It's lovely the faith he puts in you and the way he encourages you. And btw, you know grammar and punctuation thingys can be my pet hate, but mostly for myself lol and I can honestly say, when I read your posts, that is the last thing on my mind! You write beautifully and so eloquently in my opinion! :)

    Dee x

    1. Dee,
      it is lovely. Even when he growls lol.
      And awww, thank you. You made my day.

  3. Oh, lord.
    SP does that to me, too.
    I hope you're able to accept it with better grace than I am...

    1. Jz,
      Umm, well...If you consider grumbling and complaining disagreeably to be graceful, then yes!

  4. lil, oh I so relate to being pushed to meet your potential! To me, a man who brings down his partner or to make them something other than what they aren't or make them weak-even with submissives--isn't much of a decent human being.
    To want success for each other, to want to encourage each other's growing, in my opinion is such a cornerstone of a good and happy relationship.
    Several years ago, I took a huge giant leap of faith and moved into doing something I love full time.
    Scary and weirdly horrible at first but worth every second of the angst, now. I couldn't have done that without the encouragement and support and faith from my husband.
    Grammar, punctuation..even indie publishers have editors...those are hardly good reasons not to try.
    And writing--well it is a world of its own but there are supportive souls to be found in that arena. Go for it.

    1. Bleuame,
      I agree completely with you about relationships--there's not a whole lot to be said for being with someone who doesn't help you grow and want the best for you.

      Alpha says pretty much exactly what you said about editors. The thing is...I hate seeing my work bleed lol. But you are right--it's not a great excuse.
      When it comes right down to it, I do pretty good if I don't write like I think. It's a habit I have really let get away from me on the blog lol.

      Of course, I am also known for the reasoning that writing is rarely a very lucrative career...
      There I go again. It's no wonder he growls at me lol.

      Thank you for the encouragement.

    2. I can have the conversation of 'hating to see my work' bleed with you all day, every day....if its about pursuing a new lucrative career, chances are writing won't bring that to you. If its about doing something you've always wanted to do and doing something because it will make you happy and be a great new experience...I'm growling along with Alpha :P

    3. Blueame,
      Well no--it wouldn't really be about a lucrative career. Though given how much the children eat, it would be nice to want to do something that put food on the table lol.

  5. I agree with Alpha. I don't know how you can't see your gift. It is enormous and if you don't put pen to paper to write those stories it will be a true shame.

    Be like Nike - JUST DO IT.

    1. sunnygirl,
      Have I mentioned lately how happy I am that you visit my little corner?
      Your comments always make me smile. I'm resisting the urge to put this one on a sticky note and hang it on the wall.
      It was better than coffee.
      Thank you!

  6. I love this line: When I hear the low road calling, he pushes me down the high road with a grin that dares me to challenge him. You definitely have a way with words and it's wonderful that he encourages you so!

    1. Tess,
      it really is wonderful. Now if only I could manage to be more graceful about accepting it...
      Thank you.

  7. I think that it is wonderful that he pushes you to achieve. My Husband used to, but honestly the last decade or so it seems he is happy if I just manage to get laundry done and keep up with the kids. I think he may have given up on me ever achieving more as we are just trying to get through the day most of the time.

    I've got stories in my head also. When I see them written down it scares me something terrible. So I understand how you feel. But it sounds like you've got great support and I'd love to read whatever you write.

    You are correct on the bragging about grade higher than a 4.0. It's terribly impolite and us girls who worked their tales off to get far lower grades than that in algebra do not want to know about it. :-)

    1. Serenity,
      We kind of go through cycles where he needs to focus on pushing himself and I have to push myself to achieve on my own. Which, I think I should be able to do...I just tend to not push myself beyond my comfort zone at all lol.

      I didn't brag about my grades in class, though I was happy to share when asked lol.
      I was never popular with fellow students...Except when it came to study group and "can I see your notes". Well, even then they were pretty open with their hatred lol.


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