In all honesty, I get a bit hazy, so there's a good chance my quotes lack a certain level of exactness...
"Once you get past this, then we can move on to the fun stuff. Accepting
that you are completely mine and it is my way (that's what makes you happy anyways) does not signify the end
of the road. It's just the beginning."
That was a
concept which hadn't occurred to me until he said those words. Perhaps I have been
deliberately holding onto ways of being from the beginning of our D/s,
because I am afraid that once those obstacles are
conquered, there is no where else for us to go.
He continued the following morning with, If we keep going over the same stuff over and over again, we can't go deeper. Lets get over this beginner shit so we can move on.
Oh...
Well then...
Really...?
Oh shit...
Excuse me while I melt and reassess some things here...
He's right. I have struggled with some basic concepts for far too long. And it is simply not possible for our power exchange to progress beyond a certain level if I am continually willing to allow my obstinance to interfere with submitting to his will.
I have had a couple of days to "reassess" things since those conversations, and my perspective is making a shift...
I know how I need to be, and what I need to do--he has been telling me all along.
One simply cannot continue to fall down the rabbit hole while they cling desperately to the sides.
I love how ypu admitted he was right, lol.
ReplyDeleteOk, now seriously..... I like how you actually admitted that he is right - not that you have never or would never admit it, just that you did out loud, er...in type and now you are doing something about it.
So yes, he's right, you acknowledged it, admitted it and now you're taking action and starting to see the results. Impressive, I must say.
Sarah,
Deletenice to see you! Me suddenly being invisible and all, lol.
Like how I didn't even choose the smallest available font to admit it? Though...Maybe that's what's wrong with my blog--I publicly admitted that he was right, and the sky fell. Mmhmmm.
Hey Lil, great thought provoking post. I can understand the thinking that once you've overcome those obstacles there is nowhere else to go, but he is right. It's just the beginning.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for acknowledging it and reassessing your perspective.
Hugs,
Roz
Roz,
Deletethe worst thing is, I hadn't even realized that I was doing it!