I think that it's finally time to stop pretending
that I don't actually want to suck your cock in the parking lot
that I don't actually want your hand innocuously down my pants while we're standing in the supermarket
that I don't really want to to wear the plug to town
that I don't want you to bend me over the car on the side of the road
that I don't actually want to be left waiting on my knees.
It's time to stop pretending
that being unwilling to do something will mean that I won't get off on it
that I don't want to feel your hand creep up my leg under the table while the waitress takes my order
that I don't want you to pull me into the alley and take whatever form of pleasure you desire in that moment.
It's time to stop pretending that
I don't need you to caress my soul with your words
or fuck my thoughts with your voice
I don't need you to explore my mind and bare my being
that anticipation isn't a turn-on
I don't crave that which I claim to abhor
that I need what I want to matter.
It's time to stop pretending
that I could have ever been anything less than completely yours
mind
body
heart
and soul.
It is time to stop pretending that I wasn't born to be yours.
I imagine we have way too much in our heads to fully stop pretending that, but I was telling H the other day that when I think of the regrets I have, I think of the time I balked when he tried to fuck me against the hotel window in Vegas - cause he never tried it again. (And there are too many more stories like that.)
ReplyDeleteYes, if we could stop pretending, wouldn't it be amazing to see where we could be now? Sigh.
Nice post.
Yes, if we could stop pretending, wouldn't it be amazing to see where we could be now? Sigh.
Delete*THIS* is the post of the day. What if we stopped pretending?
*hug* I love these thoughts.
Kitty,
Deleteyessss, exactly!
@ Mickey, it would be amazing, wouldn't it?
This post makes me a little sad. You don't want any of those things? How would it be if he just stopped doing them? Not because you asked him to stop, but he just lost interest? I'm sorry if I'm being rude here, but this hit me kinda hard in the emotions....
ReplyDeleteI sometimes pretend I don't like those random/semi public molestations, but I actually do love the attention, any sort of attention from him. And I love it even better if he has to force it on me.
Oh fuck me. Disregard my comments (so embarrassing to realize I misread your entire point). Sorry. Where is that delete button?
ReplyDeleteKsst,
Deleteno problem! Would you like me to delete it?
That's up to you.
DeleteCan i rent your brain? lol But, seriously, this post is awesome, lil! I agree with Kitty though, that there tends to be way too much going on our heads (or there is at least in mine). i frequently trip over my brain on my way to my knees.
ReplyDeleteThat was rather poetic. I would have to add i trip on my mouth on the way to my knees...
DeleteAnd this whole post was so beautiful!
sacrlet,
Deleteooh, I doubt anyone would want to spend too much time in my brain, lol.
That is poetic, I like!
@ Fondles I think we all do at times...Thank you!
This is so amazing. You have such a way with words. I agree with Scarlet....can I rent your brain? You always seem to be able to put into words what I am thinking or feeling. I just don't know how to say it. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteSubrina,
DeleteThere are many times when I wish that I could crawl out of my brain. I doubt you would want to rent it for long lol.
Thank you.
Another amazing post Lil, the muse has definitely returned! Beautifully said! Yep, I too have a great tendency to trip over my both my brain and mouth!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
Thank you Roz!
DeleteI'm 99% sure that we all trip on those sometimes.