That First Time

I was in the midst of blundering my way through  post about fear, when a comment came through that really fit in with something I have already been musing about, and I'm easily distracted, so what can I say?

I see so many subs longing to reach a...Certain level of submission, a certain depth of D/s in their relationships, a certain something that only comes with time. And yes, that something can be mind blowing and amazing.
No single event or moment will feel quite as it did in the beginning, because now is an accumulation of all those moments which came before.

The thing is, while we are all always learning and growing, (we hope) everything is only new once!

That first time when the word "Master" flows off your tongue as if there was never any other name to call him.
Your first scary/addictive taste of subspace when you learn how to fly, and he learns how to bring you back to earth.
The first time he does something you really really fucking hate. And you discover that you liked it just because you hated it, but the world doesn't end.
There is a first for each and every time your response to a command becomes automatic.
The first time you get off on something you want to think is abhorrent, but you have to admit that you loved every minute, while looking him in the eye.
That moment when you realize submission isn't really about what you think it should be, or what you want it to be, but that it's about being the way, and following the path,  he chooses.

Those and countless other discoveries will only be new once. Relationships and ttwd offer a lifetime of new realizations and explorations, but each of them only gets one first, one period of time when it is new.

There is beauty in the accumulated knowledge of time. There is something amazingly life altering and soul changing in the depths of M/s, depths that take time to travel to. It can be a somewhat transcendent and scary feeling when he truly knows you inside and out. That knowing takes time. And I don't know that there truly is a bottom in the rabbit hole.

Ttwd is not about the destination. It is a journey where each step is as valuable as the last, each mind-blowing moment an accumulation of moments which came before.
Though we may repeat experiences, every single one is unique, and should be treasured as such. No matter where we stand in our journey.