Several people were kind enough to give me post fodder. Yay!
See? I'm not really as difficult as he likes me out to be.
Now's my chance to be like the medical office--questions will be answered in the order received.
"How do you feel that you can offer him your submission without him
having to obtain it? How does he know without enforcing rules? Are rules
necessary all the times?"
In order of appearance...
For some reason, the wording of this first question is tripping me up a bit...I'm just going interpret is as how I can offer him submission without him working/asking specifically for it...?
So, I think this is about ways to show submission, and ways to be submissive without his input. To me, these are somewhat different questions.
On one hand, it is sometimes difficult to be submissive if one isn't feeling the Dominance. On the other hand, submission is a state of being and doesn't require direct orders to manifest itself.
If he's not expressing his will, I can show submission by taking a more proactive role (work in progress). I can do things and behave in a manner that are/is submissive--if it's making his plate, and un-asked for cup of tea, kneeling at his feet just because, etc.
Submission becomes part of the relationship. It just is. Regardless of his reaching for it--it is something that is always his. Even if I don't always excel at its expression...
As to how he knows without enforcing rules...Tripped up again! My brain seems to have taken a temporary (I hope) leave of absence.
How does he know that I am following the rules if he doesn't go around enforcing them, or how does he know I'm offering my submission if he isn't actively enforcing the rules?
I'll go both ways...
He knows if I'm following the rules because if he doesn't notice, I'll tattle on myself. It's really a terrible trait--I simply can't help it. Comes back to the whole "Transparency" thing I guess.
I don't think that submission is a product of rules--rules exist to refine submission to the Dominant's desires. He knows that I am being submissive through our interactions, my state of mind, the way I am and the things that I do.
Are rules necessary all the time? Well...While people usually put a lot of emphasis on rules, D/s can exist without them.
Are my rules always in existence? Yes. He prefers to call them "Expectations", but I think that, for all intents and purposes, the definition for us is the same. Am I always expected to live up to those expectations? Yes. Do I always pull it off? No.
That is not to say that there are never any exceptions for circumstances, but those circumstances had damn well better be valid!