Friday, September 12, 2014

D/s is Not an Exception to the Rules of Reality

It's glorious, isn't it? Those first moments when you discover D/s and you devour every bit of information you can find, every story, experience, word, idea, and picture...
It's a land of hidden fantasies come true, you realize that's what you are and who you were meant to be. You want it as your reality, so you immerse yourself in the fantasy...

Of course, the main drawback to fantasy is that reality will always eventually intrude. And, as is the nature of reality, said intrusion can be quite rude. It is, however, completely necessary if you want to live D/s. The rest of your life exists in reality, and ttwd is going to be no exception.

Go ahead and immerse yourself in the waters of fantasy. We all do it sometimes--those are some pretty awesome waves out there. But out here in the reality of the ocean? Some of those waves will knock you on your ass.

I was roaming around today, and found an old post elsewhere quoting one of my posts from several years ago...

"Do I need Dominance to inspire my submission? Yes. I'm like an addict and I want my fix. But I also feel like that fix should come from submission itself--not necessarily just from dominance.
Being picky with submission doesn't work. That's not what it's about. If he was how I wanted him to be all the time, and only did what I wanted, then it wouldn't really be D/s at all."

Now isn't it just a bitch when your own sensible conclusions jump out at you randomly? I can't even get away from them by going somewhere else!

The truth is, if you want to float on the highs, you have to pass through the lows--if your going to live it with another human being. Every single day, with no off switch, no "visiting", and no meetings of convenience, then you're not going to be on top of the world every day. That's just not how life works.

About sums it up...
As challenging as it can be to accept the difficulties which come with being a human who lives their reality with another human, those times make the fantasies which turn into reality that much sweeter.


  1. You always seem to have such an amazing way of writing what I am thinking. Your last few posts have really inspired some of my own thoughts on the ups and downs of D/s. I just can't seem to translate my thoughts into writing very easily. I love your analogy that the "fix" should come from submission. And yes, it's not what we want, when we want. But I am still trying to sort out my thoughts on coping when we don't feel the dominance. That one may sit in my drafts folder a bit longer:)

    1. little girl,
      Thank you!
      I'm curious to read whatever escapes your drafts folder!

  2. Replies
    1. gg,
      I usually phone in the whole title thing. Sometimes though...

  3. 'But I also feel like that fix should come from submission itself--not necessarily just from dominance.'

    yes. and it does for me, sometimes. but you know, the cyclic thing, and having to keep working at it, and blah blah blah...

    luckily I love the little mundainities of living with someone else. I'll take that over long distance perfect fantasy any day.

    1. mc kitten,
      oh yea, blah blah blah--my brain could go on forever in pretty much that exact format!

  4. "I can't even get away from them by going somewhere else!" Glad I wasn't eating or drinking when I read that. Lol.

    Damn reality, why does it have to go and mess things up!

    I guess one good thing about hitting the floor is I can see just how dirty I've let them get while I was wondering around the land of fantasy. Sigh. Where is the broom?

    1. Misty,
      yea, right? What did I ever do to reality for it to haunt me like that??!

      I think I need a Shop Vac. And a mop...

  5. Wouldn't life be grand if we could just live in our head.

  6. sunnygirl,
    I know! Reality is just too damn intrusive.

  7. This is great Lil, so well said ... as always :) Reality can be such a bitch. "If he was how I wanted him to be all the time, and only did what I wanted then it wouldn't really be D/s" Love that!


    1. Roz,
      Thank you!

      It can be a really difficult quote to stand by on a daily basis, lol.


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