We have some type of relationship with anyone we come in regular contact with. We have a relationship with our coworkers, bosses, friends, the checkout lady who's line we always chose, and the mean one we avoid like the plague. Sure, no one wants to think they have a relationship with the fumbling pimply boy who always bags their groceries, but it is a type of extraneous relationship nonetheless. He drops my food, says have a good night when it's really morning, i smile say thanks, and walk off. That's just an example of how interaction forms minor connections all over life. The question is, at what point does an extraneous relationship become unhealthy? i mean, obviously, if the bagger boy starts following you home every time you buy milk, it's not healthy lol. But i'm really talking about more subtle issues.
Okay, getting to the point here. Anyone looking for a good BDSM read here is shit out of luck today. This is your normal everyday crap lol. So, back to my boss (no doubt anyone who reads my blog regularly is sick of hearing about it, but thanks for sticking with me anyways lol). i truly feel the relationship is becoming unhealthy but i wonder if i only feel that way because of my perception of the world--seeing things from the view of a Dominant/submissive relationship, and the fact that i don't like my job. Would i feel the way i do if i was not in a D/s relationship?
Ever met someone who Wants to be a Dominant but can't function well enough to Not have someone tell them what to do and only knows what they have read and is well aware that they won't ever actually get to be a Dom? That's my boss. So, at what point does this relationship become too unhealthy to continue (this is not one of my "keep it to yourself, i really don't want to know what the world thinks" posts, i am actually looking for input and opinions here)? Is it when i start going out of my way to dress down and be unattractive when i go to work, when he calls at 9 PM and probes about why i don't sound happy to hear from him, when he slips in a "baby" here and there, when he walks up to me wanting something and tries to sound commanding instead of just asking, is it when he buys me a haircut for Christmas, or is it when something happens that is so blatant i have to quit regardless of how badly i need the job? i'm looking for another one, but from how the search is going, it's lucky i've got one at all. How do you curb situations like this without making things worse?
First off you are right; the guy is creepy and has overstepped the line. Second the only way to deal with this is to be firm. You need to set some boundaries. Personally one would very kindly explain that while one appreciates the gift and understands that it came from a kind place, that it is too personal to be accepted with any degree of comfort. Next one would start smartening up how one dresses at work and aim for cool professional. All the dowdiness is doing is screaming low self esteem to a predator... it's like rolling in catnip. Fourth one would start documenting every single thing that crosses the line, including those late night phone calls, in case it ends up in a sexual harassment case. You need proof and there is nothing like good records.
ReplyDeleteThere your first bit of advice from a virtual stranger... hope some of it helps.