This set of ramblings might seem somewhat contrary to my last post, but that one was about action, and this one is about those little squiggly things that happen in my mind. If you take that into account, and consume lots of coffee, I'm sure it will make sense.
Greengirl left a comment on my last post, and made a statement about expectations that got me to thinking again (what can I say, it's an addiction that's hard to conquer).
We all have views and opinions about how things should be. It's is one of the things that makes us unique and gives us the ability to strive to be better and accomplish things in our lives.
The thing is, when it comes to ttwd, preconceived notions have gotten me into more trouble than anything else.
I know right, Me in trouble? Who would have guessed. *waits patiently for the screeching tires.
Preconceived notions help us to avoid people and situations that we find undesirable. But they also limit our range of experience and filter the world for our own eyes without the necessity of seeing things as they really are.
When it comes to D/s, and life in general I suppose, we sometimes allow ourselves to get so carried away with how we think things should be, that we forget to appreciate how they are.
Living in the moment can be an issue for me. I think it's one of the side effects of constantly thinking without pause for punctuation.
And I have noticed that one of the worst things about not living in the moment is that it can lead to missing the moment for what it is--because of being too caught up in the next moment and how I think it should be.
Don't get me wrong, I believe that thinking ahead is important. If you don't think ahead you never pay off that mortgage, make a relationship last beyond the beginning, or calculate the possible results of events that have a great impact on your life.
It is important to look at events and be able to make reasonable predictions about the outcome and how our actions impact that outcome. Because that is how we make decisions.
But if you don't spend some time in the moment, and are always looking at what comes next, then you look back and realize that you didn't really live those moments--because you were too wrapped up in preconceived notions of how the moment should have been.
Not how it is.
It is much the same with people--if I get caught up in Thinking how Alpha should be doing something, I miss what is lovely and right about the things he is doing. Because I had preconceived notions of how they should be.
On a completely unrelated note, how come I always have "work gone terribly wrong" dreams the night before I start a new client? It's worse than not sleeping at all!