I've been thinking again ( I know, dangerous stuff)...Anyways, these concepts are not about the Dom someone met last week or the fledgling relationship. If you need more of a disclaimer than that, you shouldn't be reading here in the first place.
Submission is not about telling him what he can and cannot call me, what he can and cannot do to me, what I will or will not do, or how far I am or am not willing to go.
You can't go walking around saying that you are owned and submit to someone, then turn around and tell him "but you can't do or say this that and the other."
You can have a relationship with someone who cares enough to not do this and that because they would damage you.
I think that in an established relationship, the submissive doesn't have defined limits outside of the Dominant's. I mean sure, I squeak loudly about my feet being hard limits and please don't touch my belly button (it drives me bonkers in a bad way), and he chuckles and says "Oh, you want your limits pushed so I should abuse your feet and stick my finger in your belly button? Okay!"
In all seriousness though, beyond the obvious and truly sick shit that we both firmly agree on, my limits are the ones he sets.
I can't tell him what names he is allowed to call me, I can't tell him what he can and cannot do to me, I can't tell him what activities we aren't going to engage in.
Well, I could. And yes, occasionally I do...But that's not really submitting is it? It's dictating my submission and defining his Dominance on my terms.
He cares about my welfare. And while the world of things to do to and with me is his oyster (I really shouldn't be using that saying, it makes no sense whatsoever to me), he doesn't do everything he could. Partly because I matter to him, and partly because there are things he just doesn't want to do.
Maybe there are things I would do that he wouldn't, but they will never happen because he doesn't want to do them. And there are things I really don't want to do but would because he said so. Though he chooses not to do them because of the repercussions for me.
He could have any kind of free-for-all he can imagine with me. But he won't. Because my well-being matters to him.
And I could tell him what is acceptable and what is not. But I won't. Because I gave him the power and I trust him to use it.
Sure I have opinions that I'm happy to share with him, and for the most part, he's happy to listen. Whether he does anything about them or not, is up to his discretion. And I accept that.