This post started at the end of Preconceived Notions. But for once, I decided to make an attempt at separating two different subjects.
Sometimes I get caught up in how I should be submitting.
sound slow to say that it took me until typing that sentence to fully
comprehend what it means?
As Alpha's submissive, deciding how I should submit is the polar opposite of submission.
I have spent years working on not attempting to define his Dominance by my own terms. And the whole time, I was missing what was right in front of my nose--being far to busy trying to decide how I should or should not submit.
Perhaps that's one of the reasons it's easiest to submit to the things we want--because we decided that was how we were going to submit.
But then submission takes on all these forms that don't fit into any fantasies (I dunno about anyone else, but being the one to run into the store and being told to check the mail are not on my hot list). But maybe they fit his fantasies.
Because when you live something every day, it often takes on forms that didn't occur to us before they actually happen.
My idea of submission did not include hauling my butt up off the couch to make cookies at 10: at night. His does. And so I do (okay, it's usually less than gracious at that time of night, but we're all a work in progress right).
I think sometimes when we decide that we want to be Dominated, it's easy to forget what it means to submit.
And in effect, submission is about what he wants it to be. Not what I think it should be.
That's not to say we don't have needs that should be met, or that whatever the Dominants idea of submission is will work all the time. But...
Maybe it's an obvious kind of epiphany. But submitting isn't about what I think it should be. It's about what he thinks it needs to be.
Who knew? And if you did, why didn't anyone tell me before?! Okay, so maybe he might have perhaps implied it a couple of times.
It only took me about 6 years to catch on...