I grasped a deeper understanding of a certain feeling last night. I was craving the sensation that comes when Alpha is curled around me. That place resting somewhere in between when his hand comes to rest around my throat and everything that I am is consumed in us.
That is where I feel tiny and closed away from the world under a blanket of untouchable security...Yet somehow larger than life.
It took me a long time to realize the security that comes in surrender.
I think it's one of those expansion things. And I'm tired so this might not make much sense....
But when you are inside your walls, everything is contained in that space. Sure the barricades are impressive and practically impenetrable, but that which is most solid has the most dangerous consequences when it falls.
Without the walls, there is simply the security of surroundings. Without self imposed bindings, there is a freedom to simply be.
But it's not the scary "damn worlds so big and I'm so tiny," kind of freedom.
It's the kind of freedom where you feel like your being has disintegrated and is floating apart, but it's okay because you are safely contained in something outside yourself.
It's that place where one is smaller, but has actually expanded.
Because surrender of self leads to freedom of being.
Not only does it make sense, but you said it very eloquently.
ReplyDeletefaerie,
DeleteSense And eloquence? Woohoo!
Thank you.
Containment is an idea that I have been turning over in my head for some time - this is a very nice explanation of it.
ReplyDeleteKitty, I think it's a fairly simple concept that can be really complicated.
DeleteI'm not sure that made sense...
I get it. I don't have it, but I get the thought. You are quite eloquent.
ReplyDeleteThank you Monkey.
Deleteit was sooo poetic. lovely. thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you FA. Glad you enjoyed the post.
DeleteBeautifully put, when just letting go and embracing the surrender its just blissful..just letting it be.
ReplyDeletetori x
tori,
DeleteThank you.
And it really is blissful. Funny how some of the smallest events can have the greatest impacts.
Very nicely explained - and the extra bonus part is that he wants to provide that, he wants me to rest and just be in him and for him that way. I don't know if that is just a happy consequence or part of why it can work in the first place? Maybe i'm not making sense now...
ReplyDeleteThank you gg. It made sense!
DeleteAnd I do think that's part of how it can work in the first place...
oh wow...loving the new look.
ReplyDeletetori x
Thank you tori. It tends to change with my moods, and as you can see, those change rather frequently lol.
DeleteBut I'm not allowed to dye my hair or rearrange the furniture!!
Makes perfect sense to me , blissful.
ReplyDeletesophie, always nice when a ramble becomes coherent.
DeleteBecause surrender of self leads to freedom of being - what a lovely sentence. (liked the rest of your post too of course :)
ReplyDeleteDee x
Dee,
DeleteI'll admit that sentence got moved to the bottom because I thought it summed everything up nicely.
Thank you.
Surrender...how nicely phrased in this most. That feeling to be beyond the trappings....even the self-imposed ones.
ReplyDeleteThank-you kindly for the warm welcome to "blogland" :o)
BleuAme,
DeleteYou are quite welcome.
Thank you for stopping by.
Love the fresh clean green-ness of the design.
ReplyDeleteBTW I linked you in this post.
FA,
DeleteI have this little problem with changing backgrounds (as if anyone who has read here for more than a week couldn't tell lol), but this is the first time I have ever had so much white...
Thank you for the linking. It's always cool to make it into someone's favorites!