Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Boundaries of Perception

It's that moment when I realize that I can't take any more so I struggle to escape, and his hands clamp down on my hips as he goes deeper...

It's that moment when our eyes meet and we both know that I will do whatever he tells me to do...

It's that moment when his lips brush across the top of my head, and his hand wraps around my throat...

It's the way he grabs me and plays with whatever he wants, as if my body is merely an extension of his own...

It's the way he leans in and whispers "Mine" in my ear...

It's the moment when I feel a knife sliding slowly across my skin...

That is when I realize that boundaries are simply a way of focusing on something so as to make that something into a form that our minds can assimilate.

That is when I realize, that the moment in which I let go of all that I perceive myself to be, I become truly his.

We often say that "real life" has a way of throwing ttwd a little off track. But I have come to see that statement as rather erroneous--Our power exchange is real life. And while it is occasionally overshadowed by other aspects of reality, it has very much become like blood--it's there just below the surface, always moving, always flowing. And just because we can't always see it, doesn't mean that it is not there sustaining us, running through our veins, a deep and integral part of who we are.

I no longer want to be his submissive. I no longer disagree when he calls me his slave. I have somehow simply become...Both.

Because the boundaries of my perception are not the boundaries of our reality.

12 comments:

  1. lil,
    I agree totally that it isn't a case of real life throwing ttwd off - that's a great way of looking at it - it is always there - and it does flow beneath everything, informs everything... I need to do a better job of letting it flow sometimes, and in recognizing it for what it is. Very nice post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you gg.
      It is a really difficult concept to remember. I'll no doubt be directed back to this post next time I'm having a meltdown about "life" getting in the way of what I want lol.

      Delete
  2. I no longer want to be his submissive. I no longer disagree when he calls me his slave. I have somehow simply become...Both.

    Yes. Simply. Yes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mindset,
      crazy how that happens huh.

      Delete
  3. This seems like a really huge turning point, like something has clicked?

    Isnt that great, that realisation that you both are who you are and that doesnt change just because of life getting in the way.

    I used to fight against being referred to as his slave, im more accepting now i think because that lightbulb goes on and you realise just what it means for you both.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tori,
      yes, this was a huge realization for me. Now if only I can hold onto it...

      Delete
  4. WOW, is the only word I can think of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl
      I have no idea what the proper response is to that lol.
      Except maybe, it was kind of a wow moment for me...

      Delete
  5. Wow, that was beautifully expressed! I started out his submissive and became his slave, with hardly a ripple of protest. Actually, more like diving straight into the abyss screaming "Yes, yes, yes, THIS!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ancilla,
      thank you!

      I may have um, fought it tooth and nail. But I'm not allowed to bite or scratch anymore lol.

      And I do feel quite a i differently about it now than I used to.

      Delete
  6. Great post.
    You don't have to "do" DD anymore. It is past the stage that you have to put on your submissive hat. That is now the normal state of things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bas,
      thank you.
      And that's because I referred to your blog as DD isn't it? Lol.

      I'm not sure about the hat--it does occasionally fall off. Of course, those are usually the times that I'm happy to run it over...But yes, overall it's the normal state of things, not something that's "done."

      Delete

Play nice.