Friday, October 19, 2012

What Sustains Me

"At least your fantasies are simple." My eyes wandered off of their own accord..."Well...I keep the complicated ones to myself. There's some things you never tell."

He raised his eyebrows and gave me that look that turns my knees to jelly. "Not for you there isn't."

Twenty minutes later, "Did you take your medicine?" Oh...I was kinda thinking he'd forgotten like I had... "Go take your medicine. Now."

And that's it. That's what feeds me, makes me ache and need, creates weakness in my knees.

I have been going through a bit of physical activity withdrawal (please, tie me, beat me, shove objects where they don't belong, etc). And my body has been an outright traitor (it likes to time it's breakdowns to be as inconvenient as possible).

But overall? It's that control from him that sustains me. I thrive on it like I never thought I could.

16 comments:

  1. They are always looking out for us even when we don't want the scrutiny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sunnygirl,
      Oh yes. I could say it drives me crazy, because it does...But not in a bad way.

      Delete
  2. "Now."

    Such a powerful word. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mindset,
      you know, that word is really working it's way up to one of my favorites.

      Delete
  3. You must love thriving on his control. You are so fortunate he controls you the way you need to be controlled.

    FD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FD,
      I am fortunate. Sometimes it is good remind myself just how much so.

      Delete
  4. It's that weakness that reminds me of how I melt everytime I see the words
    "though I am a slave, I am free for the first time in my life"

    Order and discipline is bliss. We soar.

    -justine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Justine,
      interesting how very freeing being owned can be isn't it?

      Delete
    2. Like I never imagined possible...J.

      Delete
  5. Oh yes, those little mundane commands do the exact same thing for me. I totally get it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dancingbarez,
      they do make such an unbelievable difference!

      Delete
  6. The same goes for me. If one is not up for the big stuff, either in time or health, there are always the little things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ancilla,
      I think that there are times I would go completely batty without the little things!

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Saoirse,
      mine too. I like to claim that I'm not easy...but I'm not so sure lol.

      Delete

Play nice.