Monday, December 9, 2013

Batshitcrazy

You know how sometimes you're afraid that you will go off the deep end, and then one day you do something so stupid and out of character that you just know you've finally gone and done it, then your reaction just solidifies the knowledge that you are bound for batshitcrazy and there's no hope?

Oh...You don't?

Well bear with me, I'll give you a peek.

Kiddos tournament was in the city (poor guys, they had a rough go this time), and we were due for a food shopping, so it made sense for me to go shopping at the same time.
Different stores, same chains, bigger city that I didn't want to drive in, but still--everything we needed was available there.

We go down to the city once a month for a food shopping. I do the list, I make the food decisions, I keep the tally of money spent, I stick to the budget, and I always get enough of what we need to last until the next shopping.

I'm sure you can guess what the most important item on my list is: Coffee.
I buy an average of 5 pounds a month, and yes, we drink it all.

I fucking forgot to buy coffee.

When I realized this on the highway somewhere between 100 miles from said coffee and 80 miles from home, I knew that was it--I really am destined to dementia.

My reaction only solidified my certain ticket to Batshitcrazyville:
I cried.
Not just because it royally sucks to have to buy coffee that is twice as expensive and half as good for a month, or because I have to make a trip to town just for coffee, but because I forgot it.

I forget crackers, or yoghurt, or cookies, or tortillas. I do not forget the single item that we both consume several times a day. I do not ever ever forget something as important as coffee.

I have a prepaid ticket to Batshitcrazyville. Oddly enough, he doesn't seem to think I'll use it. Me, I'm pretty sure that I'm already on the train...

18 comments:

  1. I'm sure if you can figure out what and how much to buy for a whole MONTH you're not going to need the ticket, but don't worry, I will buy the ticket from you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Misty,
      I'll give it to you--totally free! Save your money for important things. Like coffee.

      Delete
  2. Oh you poor girl,this is bad. Really, really bad.

    But, since it is was a tournament weekend, and preparations for those take a tremendous amount of brain power things may not be quite as serious as you suspect. It just may have simply taken up the whole coffee section of your brain to get through the weekend. So don't make the appointment with the neurologist yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serenity,
      I burst out laughing when I read your first sentence. The cat ran....

      I'll hold off on the neurologist.

      Thank you!!!!!

      Delete
  3. It's ok, lil. i think i'd cry too if i forgot coffee. Granted i don't live as far away from grocery stores, but there was a week that i went into a grocery store 4 times in 5 days and forgot - milk then toilet paper, then toilet paper again (and by this time we were completely out), then bread. i think i'm well on the way to being batshitcrazy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. scarlet,
      Ooh, sounds like my kind of week. We're almost out of milk too, now that you mention it. But I do have a whole case of toilet paper!

      Delete
  4. I'm pretty sure you're normal. We've all done that. Had the critical item on the shopping list, brought everything else, driven home (why not the supermarket car park?) and bam, it's there in your head, the thing you forgot. I would cry too.
    My husband gets his coffee beans personally delivered to the front doorstep from a specialist merchant, it is that important to him. I drink hot water. Nothing to forget except putting the kettle on.
    we're probably all batshitcrazy - which is a lovely word and one I've not heard of before.
    hugs
    DF

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DelFonte,
      Ooh, I like his approach to coffee! Though, hot water sounds like a much better addiction at this point. Especially if your not In it...

      Lol, yes, spell check doesn't like batshitcrazy, but spell check is just behind the times.

      Delete
  5. Welcome to Batshitcrazyville. I'm sure you'll be very comfortable here. Please, make yourself at home.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sarah,
      Lol, yes--I am where I belong.

      Delete
  6. I'm saving you the seat next to me.It's forward facing too, so no motion sickness. I'm a millimeter away from a panic attack today, because I can't concentrate worth s**t and I have a final tonight and I have been spinning my wheels all weekend. My ADD is wicked right now. and I'm going to cry. So yeah, saved you a seat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hugs, i have finals this week too!

      Delete
    2. Oh lm, I'm sorry! I hope that the final went stupendously well because you're totally awesome.

      Thank you for saving me a seat--I brought tea. Without milk, but on the bright side, there's plenty of toilet paper to mop up any spills.

      Delete
  7. "I do not ever ever forget something as important as coffee."

    No, you have never before forgotten something as important as coffee.
    You're 30.
    Trust me, this will happen several more times before the genuine guano-stuff kicks in.

    But don't ask me how I know this! ;-p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jz,
      lol, fair enough!

      I just have this image in my head of my grandmother wandering the halls in her toilet paper turban on her way to work at 1 AM, with no clue that the news station she was going to no longer even existed...Nobody wants to be that. Even if the turbans are snazzy.

      I shall not ask!

      Delete
  8. Coffee? Funny, I am the same .. a fantatical coffee drinker. I have been out of my coffee (tassimo since Monday) ... have I bought any? No. Have I thought of it? Constantly. Did I buy coffee? Yes ... for a kurig! Have I bought any still? No ... why? I see it at Tim Horton's in the morning & think .. later. Then I get home about 10 hours later .. walk in the door ... DAMMIT! .. oh well instant coffee again tomorrow! I am the official welcome committee at Batshitcrazyville! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. geekie kitty,
      omg, lol. I sooo hate it when I finally get something but I wasn't paying attention and bought the wrong thing. Kinda reminds me of the time I accidentally bought my mom decaf...Thought she was going to throw the can at my head.

      As the official welcome committee, do you by any chance wear a uniform and a sign for those of us who are directionally challenged?

      Delete
    2. I STILL have not gotten my tassimo coffee *sighs* .. apparently I am waiting for Christmas maybe???

      And as official welcomeing committee ... I am the big yellow minion (the one with the sombrero, waving like a lunatic & blowing kisses "HELLLOOOOO" ... yeah .. can't miss me ;) I will great with cookies but alas I have no coffee ... o.O

      Delete

Play nice.