I was mad you see, and he made me not mad. I can't even remember what I was pissed off about, but I do remember being ordered to not be angry.
"Um, excuse me? I have a legitimate right to be illegitimately angry. You can't just order me not to feel a certain way--I have a right to my thoughts and feelings!"
Then he said bossy things to me and made me laugh. Suddenly, I was honestly not at all mad anymore, which sucked because I do think I have a legitimate right to feel however I feel, and I don't think that he should be able to order my feelings around like that.
Yea...I read that that
I just...He's done it a few times now, and I think that I'm entitled to my feelings, I mean, he has occasionally ordered them around, but his doing so didn't actually change them. Until lately.
I have this idea that if he wants to change my feelings, he doesn't think that they are valid. That's it, I want to know that he believes my feelings are valid. It's not even that I mind him ordering my feelings around, so much as I mind the thought that he might think they aren't important because they are
Being told what to do or not do, is a lot different than being told what to feel or not feel. My emotions can be...Overwhelming. At the right time, I might literally cry over spilled milk and consider doing so to be perfectly reasonable. Until I look back in retrospect, which is when it seems silly and stupid, but it really was how I felt in that moment. So perhaps those particular feelings aren't entirely valid, or in the least bit reasonable, but they are mine!
Maybe I'm just jealous because my feelings have never obeyed me. Much like my body, now that I think about it...
Still, I say that I have a legitimate right to feel illegitimately angry. According to him, he has a legitimate right to do as he pleases with me and my crazy emotions. Bastard.