I have been thinking about limiting factors. Specifically ones related to our D/s dynamic. It started with this post about limits by Sir J, which actually gave me a clearer perspective on the way limits function within our relationship and the way people see limits in relation to ttwd.
Anyways, this isn't about limits in general, it's about mine (mememe), so if you're looking for a good take on limits in general, I suggest you hop on over there. If you stay here, I recommend coffee--this could be one of those rambles that goes on and on and ends up very far from the starting point lol.
We don't talk about limits much any more because really, there has been no need for further discussion. Occasionally I will declare something outside of my limits, Alpha will laugh, place his finger under my chin, and inform me that I have no limits--I have his limits.
For some reason it took me a while to accept this. In the end it boils down to my trust in his judgement. Though for posterity I feel obliged to mention that there are simply some things that neither of us would ever do. We have these things in common, and that in itself simplifies the "limits" discussion greatly.
And when it comes right down to it, lots of things aren't so much about limits, as they are about stepping outside the comfort zone.
Take another woman for example--it is something that I feel I have given up the right to choose. So Alpha could go out tomorrow and bring one home for the night. And yea, if he chose to he could just not even bring her home. But will he? No. Not tomorrow. Because while I have given up the choice, I have not gotten to the point where it's not going to be emotionally damaging (I know that when he reads this he will tease and ask me if I'm talking about the other woman here. Yea, I'm working on my issues k lol).
Conversely, one of my top fantasies happens to be something that I most likely could not psychologically cope with (and quite possibly physically as well). Much more so than my previous example. But that's probably a post in its own...The thought process here though, is that I don't decide if said fantasy ever becomes reality--he does.
The point is, he won't push me where he knows I can't handle going. He may put extra time into making damn sure I get there eventually lol, but it's kinda funny--time can be everything. Because the human state is malleable and changing.
And because I often end up so far away from where I began...
Limiting factors--I believe that I am my single biggest obstacle to the kind of submission that I would like to achieve. Crap, at this point, I think I am the biggest obstacle to the growth of our D/s.
I have grown beyond trying to dictate the terms of his Dominance. But I can't seem to let go of attempting to dictate the terms of my submission.
Does that sentence make sense to the rest of the world? Because it was kind of a light bulb moment for me. I know, big and glorious realizations right, lol.
Life has lots of limits, most of them self imposed.
So if we acknowledge the ways in which we limit ourselves, does that then enable us to expand our boundaries and opportunities for personal growth?
See, that wasn't so bad--it only took me half a cup of coffee lol.