One of the PTA's who works with me was grumbling about having problems at home. The gist of it seemed to be that her husband and herself had been fighting about her wanting to work through some old personal issues on her own, and didn't want to share them with him.
Now, I'm not criticizing her for this--I have been acquainted with her husband for a very long time and I doubt he could work his way through a grocery store. Plus he's just an ass, so it's really no wonder she wants to work on her issues without him.
But she did get me thinking about working through things together.
I can't remember any deep personal issues that I worked through without Alpha. This could be because of the length of time we have been together and the age I was at the time, or it could just be because I have a cheesecloth memory.
That isn't to say that I never tried to work through those issues on my own, it just never really worked out for me.
As a couple there are plenty of issues we deal with separately--I don't need help figuring out what to do when the chicken isn't defrosted on time, or that the electric has to be payed, or how to do my job well, etc.
But when it comes to working through the big things? It seems like not working through them together places us on different pages from the get-go. And different pages hold different stories. With different conclusions. And when they meet, there is a lack of cohesion, a conflict on the end page.
From the perspective of what our marriage has become, working through personal issues on my own isn't even an option anymore. I would feel like I was hiding things from him.
Huh, it's almost creepy how that happened, and I didn't even notice the moment.