Thursday, February 2, 2012

Working Together

One of the PTA's who works with me was grumbling about having problems at home. The gist of it seemed to be that her husband and herself had been fighting about her wanting to work through some old personal issues on her own, and didn't want to share them with him.
Now, I'm not criticizing her for this--I have been acquainted with her husband for a very long time and I doubt he could work his way through a grocery store. Plus he's just an ass, so it's really no wonder she wants to work on her issues without him.

But she did get me thinking about working through things together.

I can't remember any deep personal issues that I worked through without Alpha. This could be because of the length of time we have been together and the age I was at the time, or it could just be because I have a cheesecloth memory.

That isn't to say that I never tried to work through those issues on my own, it just never really worked out for me.

As a couple there are plenty of issues we deal with separately--I don't need help figuring out what to do when the chicken isn't defrosted on time, or that the electric has to be payed, or how to do my job well, etc.

But when it comes to working through the big things? It seems like not working through them together places us on different pages from the get-go. And different pages hold different stories. With different conclusions. And when they meet, there is a lack of cohesion, a conflict on the end page.

From the perspective of what our marriage has become, working through personal issues on my own isn't even an option anymore. I would feel like I was hiding things from him.

Huh, it's almost creepy how that happened, and I didn't even notice the moment.


  1. I would say it is much the same for me, but I don't find it creepy. I find it pretty awesome.

    It may be because of the things in my past he had to deal with so early on in the relationship. He didn't run when he had the chance, he helped me to face it and deal with it. It left us with a we can face anything together attitude.

    That's the awesome part.

  2. My feeling is that it is a natural consequence of being with somebody for a long time. You tend to not necessarily think alike but respect the other's point of view and just naturally come to an amicable agreement on everything. IO know that is the way it is with my husband and me.

    Like Faerie, I think its pretty awesome.

  3. I think it shows a solid partnership and it comes down to a simple respect for each other. That's pretty cool :)

    Dee x

  4. i think it's about love. :-)


  5. I'm with Dee and Aisha, plus just really good luck in not having married an ass, for so many reasons really.

  6. It's a scary thing - to open your heart so much and work as one. I love this post because it offers me the idea that one day, Love and I will be able to work together as one. And no, my L views hiding things as lies of omission and that's one area neither of us want - lies.

    Your Alpha sounds like he is just the right partner for you!

  7. faerie,
    I think that the "we can face anything together attitude" will get you anywhere you need to be.

    We come to amicable agreements about almost anything lol.

    Dee, it is pretty darn cool.

    aisha, love can be pretty awesome.

    gg, lol, I am quite thankful for that kind of luck.

    Molded By Him, He is just right for me. I like to think that, while I'll never be perfect, I'm perfect for him.


Play nice.