Security

 Because I do have a life outside of family drama, one that I'm rather happy with in fact, I would so like to spend more time focusing on it lol...


In objective theory, I believe that it's best to provide one's own sense of security. From where I am standing in my life? Alpha provides me with security. He always has.

In part, I think it's the sense of security he provides that inspires my submission to him. I used to define it as safety, but it just didn't encompass the feeling sufficiently.

For instance, he provides me with physical safety, but if push comes to shove I am certainly capable of providing my own protection; something he has actually been quite insistent upon.
I don't seem to be nearly as capable of providing myself with a sense of security--when I'm home alone, I will stay up until ungodly hours listening to the dogs bark.

I can drive well in the snow--I am secure if he drives me through it though.
I can make the hard decisions--but I am secure in them when he is by my side.
I can sleep in the damn bed by myself--but I don't rest. My insecurities and worries set up camp and have a party.
I am capable of Dominating my own life--but in his Dominance I am secure.
I am a compulsive worrier--Alpha provides me with a sense of security that abates those worries.

I was raised very much...Outside of the world most people live in. Alpha taught me how to survive and exist in that world. And so perhaps I have come to rely to much on the sense of security with which he provides me.

As time passes on our journey down the path of ttwd, my sense of security becomes more entwined in him.
Nothing makes me feel quite as secure as his Dominance.
It's the sweet moments when he tilts my face up and kisses my forehead, his touch firm and commanding, yet kind and loving, the times when his hands are wrapped around my throat and his voice whispers sweet nothings in my ear, when he forces me to my knees with his hands in my hair; it is these  moments where I am most secure in everything.

The drawback? Obsessive worry shit I have realized that I worry about Alpha even more than I used to.
And can I just mention as a side note, that being me a submissive and looking after your Dominant's health is hell twice over?

I am randomly afflicted, I know...

But yes, he provides my sense of security. Perhaps it's not ideal that it comes from him, not within me; however, This security contributes greatly to our growth in this exchange of power that we call Dominance and submission.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world.