Saturday, March 30, 2013

Sorry, But I Think We are Speaking Different Languages

I've been thinking again, (yea yea, explosive and dangerous stuff. I know) about this whole blogging and people thing.
I seriously debated posting this because I have received a fair amount of what I consider to be genuine communications from new subs lately, and I don't wish to discourage them or to imply that I feel their communications are anything less than honest. And I do hope that none of those people take this personally, because it's not a dig at them. But this topic has been on my mind for a while, so naturally, from brain to mouth, (or page) it shall go--as usual.

There's actual people who read and write--it's not just words, it's the people behind them, the people who believe them, the people who consume them, the people who disagree with them.

We write a construct. Either an expression of the truth and who we are, or far from it. For the most part, people who write fiction write it as just that--fictional stories for entertainment (or getting off, whichever. Either is cool).

Then there is the occasional line of bullshit. And sure, you can try to feed it to people, but we don't have to eat it up.

It could be argued that you can never really know which blogs are "real" and which aren't, and I suppose that's a valid argument. Either way, they're all written by real people, the only question being whether they are expressing their reality or not.
Unless it's obvious bullshit, I tend not to really dwell on it much--maintaining a fictional blog whilst pretending it's reality seems like a lot more effort than most people would want to go through.
If I think that it's bullshit, I just don't read it. Simple right?
I really would
There's a whole world of people out here, and it is inevitable that honesty is not going to be a trait held and valued by all.

But I'm not thinking about bloggers really. I'm thinking about readers.
In general, I think it's bad form to talk about other bloggers unless one has been inspired and borrows a concept. Amendment: It has come to my attention that this sentence could come off all wrong, so to clarify, I think it's bad form to talk shit about other bloggers.
I try to be approachable, and I try to take people at pretty much face value--many of us look to connect with others like us, seek advice from people who have more experience, reach out when we feel someone is in need, etc. And that is all very cool. It makes for a lovely sense of community and...Not aloneness (yea, yea--I know it's not really a word).
I get a fair amount of emails that say nothing more than "Thank you for showing me that I am not alone." And you know what? I appreciate those emails--because some days it is a bit odd to empty one's heart onto the page and know that the world can see it. So don't get me wrong--I really do appreciate the majority of communications that I have received.
However, I think that the longer one blogs, and as the size of one's readership grows, so do the lines of bullshit that people are willing to try and feed you.
Lately, blogging has felt...A bit odd. I dunno...

Perhaps I tend to display my sweet and slutty side here more than my other traits, but just in case you
didn't get the memo--submissive does not equal brain dead. Some bloggers seem to get everyone's share of hate mail. Apparently I am qualified to receive, "I think you're stupid" mail.
And just because I'll read it, debate it's merit, and attempt to give it's writer the benefit of the doubt, does not mean that I will ultimately decide to believe the bullshit. Because you can package up all the shit you want to sell, but I don't have to buy it.
In all honesty, I think that I would rather get hate mail than bullshit mail--I much prefer an honest dispute over dishonest camaraderie.


  1. So, without actually having a clue what's behind this - and really not needing one - can i just say "YEAH! What she said!" Because you're so right.


    1. sofia,
      Thank you.
      I did have a bit of an internal debate about whether or not to post this, but sometimes a train of thought just won't quiet down until I get it out.

  2. Replies
    1. Or is it "hear hear"? Anyway, I most emphatically agree.


    2. Senator,
      Lol, I'm glad to hear agreement!
      I was kinda wondering if this post was going to get me that hate mail I seem to be lacking...But so far, so good!

  3. Um...ya....totally agree.


    1. mouse,
      hugs back atcha.
      I kinda wonder how bad or boring someones life has to be to pretend that they are something else.

  4. like sofia - clueless...
    but totally got your back, chica!

    1. Jz,
      I sincerely wish that even just one of my not-secretly-related kin would take that approach upon occasion!
      Much appreciated.

  5. Recently the thought comes to me quite often. And... I won't original when I'll say that I agree with you :) I'm here for the first time and I like the way you're writting :)

    1. nisza_E,
      I really don't want to become jaded and suspicious--I like to take people at face value. Truth is though, not everybody is happy with themselves so some feel like they need to present a different face I guess.

      Thank you.

  6. lil

    You know i dont know whether its just me being paranoid lol but lately i have been feeling that i constantly need to 'justify' my relationship because of potentially causing offence or misunderstandings...or god forbid attracting those that want to 'save me' from this evil nasty abusive man!

    But the comment in this post that really stood out for me was

    "I think it's bad form to talk about other bloggers unless one has been inspired and borrows a concept. Amendment: It has come to my attention that this sentence could come off all wrong, so to clarify, I think it's bad form to talk shit about other bloggers"

    that is spot on!


    1. tori,
      I'm pretty sure that you get my share of hate mail. And I have really pondered the "why" of it, but still haven't seen the light on that one...

      I kinda figure that talking shit about other bloggers is like talking shit about your friends to other people (see, I might not have friends, but if I did I would have the morals to go with them lol).

  7. I completely agree with everyone. My understanding would be this: talking shit about other bloggers is bad form, but sometimes other bloggers come along and talk shit on your blog and in the process imply that you are doing something wrong. At the same time, they talk shit on their blog and what is more, you can't even believe half of it.

    My view is that it is your blog and you can say what you like, people can take or leave it.
    J xx

    1. Joolz,
      While I completely agree with what you said, I realize that I seem to have made myself a bit uninterpretable with this one lol. On my mind was people actively going out of their way to email bullshit masking as reality and expecting a genuine response.

  8. My blog about nothing doesn't seem to generate any strange responses. I try to be open and honest and although my take on things may not be the same as yours it's what makes life interesting. If people want to fantasize about a life they want to live instead of the one they are living, sobeit. It's like tv, although there is no on/off button just don't log on is my theory.

    Have a great Easter

    1. sunnygirl,
      I agree--no problem at all with fantasizing about the life people want, and if I don't like it, I don't read it. Quite simple.

      I think most people interpreted this post as being about other bloggers, (I'm still working on the whole communication thing. And apparently not doing very well at it lol) really, this was about people going out of there way to email me some form of fiction masquerading as reality.

      I hope that you have a lovely Easter and the weather is wonderful!


Play nice.