Tuesday, March 12, 2013

To Enjoy Service?

Sometimes I think that I was born with zero desire to serve.
While I do believe that submission and service are different creatures, I also believe that service is a part of submission.
A part of submission wherein I usually fall flat on my face. Failing the full crash, some scrapes and bruises seem to be an inevitable side-effect.

I don't enjoy it--the lazy in me comes out full force and tries to force me to say "Make your own coffee, and leave mine alone!"

Something interesting happened last night though...I was making Alpha tea, and suddenly, in that moment, I felt intensely happy and satisfied.
Just because I was making him tea.

Totally odd. What's next, a desire to drink tea instead of coffee?!

In all seriousness though, while it sounds like a very very very tiny event, it was kind of a big moment for me...

To truly get a sense of pleasure from nothing more than serving him in a non-sexual way--it's not something that has ever happened to me (hey, evolution can be a slow process people).


  1. I'm no good at service; I see everything as a chore. My grandmother was a maid in a large house and was always happy to serve. I think I've evolved away from her into something quite different.
    Curious to know - how do you think service differs from submission?

    1. DelFonte,
      Might explain why I so desperately hate housekeeping as a job lol.

      I think that service is a part of submission and can exist without it--I have always made Alpha meals, done the laundry, picked up the dirty socks etc. Since the days when I would have firmly said their wasn't a submissive bone in my body.

      Hmmm, I can already tell that I'm going to slaughter this thought. Hopefully it will make some sense by the time I'm done!

      I think that submission is yielding to the will of another (An overly simplified statement, I admit). Service is doing things for that person. so, while it might be an act of submission, it is a concept that can exist without submission. Though I'm not sure that submission can exist without it...

      He does not submit to me, but he provides many services for me--support, dinner when I can't get to it, fixing shit, keeping me on track, Dominating me, etc.

      I am so not sure that I made any sense at all here...Let me know if I didn't, and I'll try to provide a more thought-out response!

  2. I'm sure you've done thousands of things for him over the years, yesterday was just one of those AHA moments. Lord knows I don't consider myself submissive yet most every day I set up his coffee and I don't drink it. Funny how that works.

    1. sunnygirl,
      most certainly--but the sense of pleasure I get from it comes from his response, or the personal reward of a job well done, or simply the fact that I like a clean house. Not really a sense of pleasure just in the doing. If that makes any sense...

      I am awed by the fact that you can make him coffee and abstain. Lol.

  3. Yay for a lightbulb moment lol

    Interestingly for me service is very much interwoven with my submission, being of service to him 'supports' my submission..if that makes sense?


    1. tori,
      I know right? It's holding on to the light where I tend to have issues lol.

      That makes perfect sense. But somehow that fact doesn't make my service any more graceful...

  4. I'm kinda like you - I'm not very service minded. When I think of service, I think, "What will I get out of it?" Like, 'Why do I pick up his dirty socks (and everything else)?' So I don't have to see the room messy, so I don't have to do it later. 'Why do I make him coffee?' So I don't have to hear him bitch because I didn't. lol So is it really service if I'm getting something out of it?

    1. st,
      I dunno...I think that it is service if we get something out of it. But I think that there is something to be said for finding that place where it gives pleasure to please through service.

      Wow, I think I'm fucking up these responses nine ways from Sunday...

  5. I used to be very much anti-service. I'm not one of those people that gets all happy doing things for other people. But my attitude changed (gradually- not all at once) since becoming a slave. Now, I feel it is a privilege to serve him. If he makes his own tea, well that is ok, I don't get upset, but if he tells me to do it for him, then I am happier.

    1. ksst,
      I think (here I go again with the bad habits) service varies with how we feel about it--technically it's the same physical result if we aren't pleased to do it, but a different mental impact if the action brings us joy. Just for the sake of the doing.

      I think I should have saved my responses for tomorrow--Chinese would have probably made more sense than my responses on this one lol.

  6. Its the small things that count :-)


Play nice.