Friday, March 8, 2013

Time Flies...

Three years ago today, I asked for permission to start this blog. Not being big on patience, I of course, created it within 24 hours of his granting permission.
Originally, it existed because I have shoddy communication skills. Now? I feel like it is a a great way to interact with others like myself, occasionally communicate things to Alpha that I just can't seem to say, and a method of introspection that often helps me to find clarity, (not to mention that it can be a great place to vent). If it happens to help others along the way, all the better.
I guess I'm also a bit addicted. There are worse vices right?

There are some blogs that have been around for a truly impressive amount of time. In the grand scheme of things, three years isn't that long, but I think that perhaps blog years are kind of like dog years. Only perhaps, one year of life counts as ten blog years?
I have seen many blogs come and go in the short period of time that I have been in Blogland. I think that sometimes we get bored, other times we outgrow it and no longer need or desire what it gives us. For whatever reason, not many blogs seem have a long lasting lifespan.

Perhaps this day deserves a brilliant post...But that's not to be lol.

Blogging...It's an interesting experience.

The title of this blog used to, (quite accurately) be called, "Diaries of a reluctant submissive."
As time went by, I discovered that I wasn't as reluctant as I maybe felt that I should be, so I changed the title and url.

At first, I wrote whatever I wanted because no one read it. Then people started showing up, and I didn't let it change what I had to say. Then one day I thought maybe I shouldn't say whatever popped into my head because well, apparently people were reading.
Then I thought about it...Blogging can be about and for other people, but ultimately it's all about self expression--there's not much point in it for me if I censor myself every step of the way. That would just be lying to myself.
And I got over it.

Depending on the topic, I do occasionally feel a sense of responsibility towards my readers--especially people just starting their journey into D/s. I remember that overwhelming search for information and the desire to read the perspectives of others who had experienced the same things. It really is a lovely feeling when something you say helps the light click on for someone else.
However, I also feel that people need to be responsible for themselves and take what they read, (wherever they may read it) with a grain of salt.
If someone can't interpret my dry and twisted sense of humor, deal with my occasional venting, or tolerate my obvious imperfections, that's okay--they can just move along.

Ultimately, we present whatever face we want--the world sees what they are given, and we offer what we choose to allow people to know.
I occasionally come across blogs that are all sunshine and roses--I move right along. Call me cynical if you want, (Alpha does) but life isn't all rainbows and roses.
It, quite literally, takes plenty of shit to grow flowers.

When I see my blog described elsewhere, it is most often with some variation of "lil's struggles speak to me." Not an award winner for perfection perhaps, but I think we all struggle sometimes, and pretending that we don't doesn't help us grow.

Other people will offer their opinions, because that's what people do. When we broadcast our inner thoughts in a public forum, opinions and criticism are to be expected.
Much like the rest of life, there will be people we like, and who's opinions we respect. And there will be many we don't.

There are some really lovely people out here, and overall, I have been quite blessed by the good character of those who choose to frequent my crazy little corner on a regular basis.


  1. Well, I can assure you that I and my wives all enjoy your writings, no matter the degree of caffeine involved... ;-)

    The One With The Fine Burnoose

    1. Jz,
      Lol. I think coffee companies should be giving me a cut of the profits--after all, I'm sure that I have contributed to increased caffeine consumption across the globe.

      And what, still no holding out on the sixth wife? Poor woman, lusting after that fine burnoose and not being allowed to join the club...

  2. And I am glad that you blogged for 3 years now.
    Congratulations on this Bloggyversary, Lil (and Alpha).
    Three years is indeed a long time in Blogland.
    It is good to write for yourself. That's what readers like to read about.

    1. Bas,
      thank you.
      I'm glad that I have stuck it out too.

  3. Happy Blogaversery. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, whether it be in the form of a thought provoking post or an inspiring poem. Hope you continue for another three years.

    1. sunnygirl,
      you are so damn sweet!
      Thank you.

  4. In a few ways i was the opposite, i didnt want to blog, he set it up without my knowledge and then dropped it on me! i was not impressed.

    Well now obviously lol i can see the benefits.

    happy blogaversary


    1. tori,
      lol--I can see how you might not have been impressed initially. But blogging does have its benefits, and I'm glad you found them!
      Thank you.

  5. Happy Blogversary! I too love to read (and write) about realities not just the good things. I feel privileged to share the blogosphere with you xx

    1. Joolz,
      thank you for your kind thoughts--they are appreciated.

  6. Happy Blogversary!!! 3 years is a long time especially when you post nearly every day. (My blog has a few LONG gaps between posts.) I've said this before, but I like your blog because it IS so real. Not just the good things. I quit reading a certain blog because it was all sunshine and roses and just not "real." So I guess I'm cynical as well :)

    1. st,
      I'm an avid over-thinker with limited outlets, so I guess the blog benefits from that lol.

      As Alpha once said, "It's painfully obvious that this is your reality." Not sure that falls into the compliment category lol, but it is true.

  7. From one shoddy communicator to another, thank you. What you put here is very helpful. I do have a question though, have you found over the past 3 years that your communication skills have gotten better outside of the blog?

    1. Yearning Letgo,
      I am glad to hear that you have found some helpful things here.

      Yes, I have found that my communication skills have gotten better. I'm not sure if that's because we have discussed so many things between then and now, that it takes something pretty big to be a real doozy, or if I have maybe evolved just a little bit.

      I think that I have become more used to being open and transparent, so it's not as difficult as it used to be.

  8. Happy Blog Anniversary! I do believe that blog years should be counted like dog years, it seems that five of my favorite blogs left within the last month. So three years to me sounds fantastic.

    1. Julia,
      crazy how that happens isn't it? I have found myself searching for more blogs to read without a whole lot of success recently (of course, my dedication to the search is somewhat questionable lol).

      Thank you!

  9. Happy Blogaversay Lil. I enjoy your posts and look forward to many more.


  10. Lil happy blog anniversary. I have a blog but just never mention it. I am not that good at writing, but i would be honored if you would take a look. Http:// i usually comment on here under anonymous. Hope to see you there.

    1. Jodi,
      always nice to see an anonymous with a name!
      I'll stop by and check you out soon, thanks for the link.

    2. Jodi,
      I did stop by your blog, but it wouldn't give me an option to comment with anything other than a Facebook account?


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