Basic Principles

Been thinking again, so I got another ADD post here. I think....

From my observations, to one extent or another, submissives all experience that need to be conquered. You know, the whole "Throw me on the floor, pull my hair, grab me by the throat, put me in my place" feeling.

It can be way too much of a good thing though, that desire for him to "make" us do what he wants.

Don't get me wrong, for me, being made to do things can be a bit like receiving affection--I love it. It has it's place.

The thing is, one simply cannot sustain a power exchange relationship based constantly upon that mode of interaction.
If you want him to tell you what to do, then you have to do as you are told. Yep, simple and often overlooked truth there.

I see a lot of subs digging in and fighting against what they want--they want to do what he tells them, but they also want him to make them do it. I'll raise my hand as guilty of that one. Very guilty in fact.

I propose a blasphemous truth--this whole D/s thing works a lot better if you just do as you are told. Sure it's hot to be made to do things, sure he should have the follow through to see that you do them, and yes we all have that desire to be conquered; however, this whole concept rests on the premise that you want and need to submit.
You cannot tell a man you want him to Dominate you, and then proceed to dispute his decisions and make him fight for your obedience every step of the way. Well, you can, but it's not sustainable.

Being a submissive is very much about needing to submit. If you don't want and/or need to do it? Then don't.

As difficult as it can be, and as complicated as we can make it, I think the basic principles of D/s, from a submissive standpoint, are quite simple:

If you want him to lead, follow.
If you want him to Dominate, submit.
If you want him to feed your needs, tell him what they are. And feed his.
If you want him to command, obey.
If you want him to take it seriously, don't try to play games.
If you want him to be in control, don't attempt to manipulate him into doing what you want.
If you want him to be be pleased, be pleasing.
And for goodness sake, if you want him to get into your head? Be truthful.
Here's the thing, he will never ever get inside your head like you want, if you can't give him pure honesty.
In any relationship, little "White" lies are like blocks--they build up slowly up each one at a time until walls are created. Bigger lies are like bigger blocks, creating stronger walls at a faster pace.
Having a power exchange relationship is about taking those walls down, and not adding more blocks to them.

I honestly believe that if you do not give him your truth, you cannot give him your trust. And if he doesn't have your trust, he will never be able to Dominate you beyond the superficial.

Anyone who has read here for any amount of time is aware that personal experience has taught me it's not nearly this cut and dry as "Just obey" all of the time. Because, well, being human is...Complicated. We have feelings, emotions, thoughts, physical complications, children, jobs, etc.

Still though...Despite all of those things, the basic principles remain.