I know that there will always be a roof over my head, electricity when I flip a light switch, and the necessities that my kids and I need, because that is what he does.
I wake up each morning knowing that there will be food for the dinner I make, and a vehicle to get me where I need to go. Because that is what he does.
When the world is falling apart, and my sky is torn asunder, he is there. And I know, that no matter what, if he tells me that it is going to be okay, it will be.
My entire adult life has been shaped around the fact that he will take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. Because that is what he does.
I used to think that this made me weak, and perhaps it does...In the way that only that which matters most can destroy you. In the way of opening the door and inviting in one's own demise...
It's true you know, it's not the day-to-day living, or the big huge terrible things that happen in life which destroy us--it is the people we let in. I mean, truly let in. Into the cracks in our souls, the place between nightmares and dreams.
In a way they fill that space between us and what we perceive as God, becoming our connection to ourselves, and the windows through which we perceive the world. Yes, it is only and always that which matters most which can truly destroy us...
|It is jumping if he says to...Because I believe.|
There was a time in my life when this scared me. I was so terribly afraid that I could not survive without him, simply because I did not know how. I have since learned that it is possible to survive anything that doesn't actually kill you. Having the will and desire to do so however...Now there is a different story completely.
I don't know where exactly I was going with this post, and I am sure that here is not where I intended to end up, but that's okay.
I learned long ago that I can rely only on him. Because that is what he does.
And so I reached for my destruction, opened the door and invited in my own demise. Knowing that I will always believe him when he says that he will make everything okay.
And so I glory in the catastrophic weakness of knowing that which matters most can destroy me, because my life is okay as long as he says that it is. Because that is what he does.