Monday, March 3, 2014

Q & A, Round One

The order of business today comes courtesy of Jz and her inquiring mind...

- I still want to know about that magic basil.
I swear that my dad always said the secret to growing basil was verbal abuse, and pinching off the leaf segments before they flowered. I know that the pinching does pretty much double production and keep them growing longer. Now, the cussing at it...That just always seemed to work rather well...I honestly never tried growing it Not cussing at it, and it always does well. Ahem. Lol.

- You're given a gift certificate for any five books - what do you buy?
Omg...I dunno. There are unknown factors in this equation--how much is the gift certificate for? Is it for the vast and expansive magical land known as Amazon, or like the local bookstore that doesn't have any good fiction?
I can't decide!!

- No limit on resources or labor - describe your dream house.
Oh...Do you have several hours and a pencil? My dream house is, of course, designed around a three story library, and made entirely of stone. The house is an octagon with closed rooms around the outside and an open circular center complete with spiraling staircases and one big skylight ceiling. Each floor has a circular landing with wall to wall books.
There's a nice kitchen and a sun room (obviously not nearly as important as space for books).
The bedroom is huge. Seriously, I want vaulted ceilings, a closet of my very own, four poster bed, hidden doorways to the dungeon, a roaring fireplace, and a tub the size of my bed. Hey, money doesn't matter here, right? Fuck it, I want a moat and a drawbridge too.

- Your children each receive a highly distinguished award - what for?

Does chess count? Somehow it doesn't sound quite like it fits into the category of "distinguished"...

- I'm coming to visit. What kind of cake do you bake?
Well, I think that it's polite to give people options. But only the options I do well. Sounds fair, right?
So you would get to choose between chocolate, lemon, orange, and carrot.
If you didn't choose, I would panic and ask Alpha to choose, which means that it would be carrot cake. 'Cuz sensible is how I roll.
When should I expect you?


  1. Love the questions and the answers. I love that the bedroom has a secret doorway to the dungeon.


    1. P Surren,
      these questions were fun!
      I firmly believe that any house built without concern for money should have such a doorway. Maybe even passages in the walls...Hmmm...

  2. I apologize for my phrasing on the books. It's a fantasy gift certificate.
    It's not "from" any one place, or for any amount… it's FOR any five books that you want. So I wanna know what they are. :-) (Yes, you must decide! bwaaahaaahaahaaaa)

    As to my visit, I'll be sleeping on the luxurious couch in the library, please…
    And eating… orange cake, I think. They all sound terrific, I would gladly accept any of those, but you don't get as many chances to eat good orange cake.
    I will hope to learn the magic basil cursing over coffee, and as a hostess gift, I will be bringing dragon andirons for the bedroom fireplace...

    Thanks for answering! :-D

    1. Jz,
      Omg, the pressure! So I'm clearly lame, and still can't provide you with titles, but I do know that I would probably research the coolest, rarest, oldest, and most expensive books one could find and get five of those. 'Cuz, you know, I could get regular books with any ol' gift certificate.

      Oh yes, that fantasy library couch is better than most beds!

      And thank you--very awesome bedroom needs dragon andirons for its fireplace.

      These were fun, thank you!

  3. Love this! Lol at the basil.

    Where would you put this house? Beach? Mountains? A magical land at the end of the rainbow covered in unicorn pelts, where it snows the perfect amount each year and a long enough summer to ensure tomatoes turn red?

    1. Misty,
      Yes, of course--I'll accept nothing less than the magical land at the end of the rainbow!


Play nice.