I have a couple more questions here from Blonde. I also have a few for Alpha, but I'm going to put those all into a post of their own. It's my blog, I get to go first. Ha! Like how I did that, pretending that he actually cared and I was getting my way no matter what? Uh huh, just call me Little Miss Independent. Until he comes through and reads this.
I would like to ask you how you manage D/s and two small kids in the
house? Is it difficult? They know about D/s? And what do you think D/s
improved outside your marriage and in your relationships with others?
Regarding the children, one is not so young anymore. I think that when they are little, it is easier to be stealthy because they are less observant. My eldest has come to realize that most of his friend's parents are either divorced, or clearly wish they were. To them, ours is just a relationship between parents who genuinely still like each other. Commands are phrased as requests, and I'm cheeky enough that most people looking in would assume that there's nothing submissive about me. It's a misconception that Alpha seems to find great amusement in propagating...
D/s, like any flavor of relationship, just has to be adapted to life with children. It can be frustrating at times, but we try really hard to get nights to ourselves once a month these days, and when it happens, that helps a lot.
I kind of feel like, when D/s is part of life, it's not quite as difficult to adapt to one's circumstances.
As to the question of whether or not the kids know about our D/s, the answer is no. We want well-rounded boys who never fall prey to the misconceptions that the man is in charge, and women do what they're told. We avoid setting that precedent in our house.
That said, I believe that children are often not given enough credit for what they know, and certain tilts of power structure in a home become fairly obvious. In most homes though, no matter what we say, or how we see people, there is some form of power imbalance. Regardless of how much overall equality presents itself.
I think that, outside of our marriage, D/s has improved me. He literally makes me be a better person, so I make more of an effort to control my temper and care how the outside world sees me because I reflect upon him. I try to be more thoughtful of my relationships of others, as well.
Though, I have to say that I don't feel it has had a beneficial impact on friendships--sometimes it's hard for people to accept someone who is willing to drop anything in a heartbeat, and accede to any request made by their husband. Lots of women are with men that they don't actually like. They aren't happy, and they expect their friends to feel the same. So I wouldn't call D/s a big friendship nurturer. I suppose it's a bit different with people of somewhat like mind, but my interactions in Blogland are the extent of such relationships.
Thanks for the questions, Blonde!
Having been so low on inspiration, I am loving the questions and there's a whole month to go. So...Don't give up on me now!