Sunday, March 9, 2014

Q & A Round Five--The Cup, A How, and...

From mc kitten:
I'd love to know more about the peeing in the cup every morning thing -what's all that about, control, presumably? Do you just have to go off and do it and then show him, or do it in front of him, or does he hold it and you have to hope your aim isn't off, or what?!

I really wanted to leave her hanging for a few days, but it turns out I couldn't come up with something else to write about, so there goes the suspense.

I hate the cup. Seriously, who pees in a cup for any reason besides being prodded by doctors, or drug tested by suspicious employers??
I'm tempted to say that he's an ass and that's what it's about--sounds about right from my end...However; yes, it's about control. And the fact that I hate it so much merely seems to contribute to the validity of this insanely cruel abuse of power.
I always have to pee as soon as I get up. In fact, I am usually up just because of that reason. So it's one of his little ways of digging in the claws without ever even having to open his eyes.

I stumble out of bed and do it in front of him. Yes, aim is important--no one wants to start the day by scrubbing the bedroom floor.
Have I mentioned how very much I hate this rule? He said it was temporary, and if I could behave it might go away. It's been nearly a year now (I think) and the damn cup is still here. Draw your own conclusions about my behavior or his cruelty. Hmph.

A question from litle girl:
How was the idea of D/s brought into your relationship? Who's idea was it and what was the other person's initial reaction?

I have briefly covered this topic on the Our Story page, and elsewhere here, mostly towards the beginning of the blog in it's ancient history (four is old until you turn five. I know this because my five year old said so. *Nods).
I discovered D/s in chat rooms and began experimenting online on my own. I didn't bring it up with him partly because I was afraid that he would think I was too twisted, but mostly because I was afraid he would go for it and it would be...More real than I could handle.
Long story short, he caught me and decided that if I was interested in D/s, it would be only with him. There was really none of that lovely negotiation stuff you read about all the time...To say that he was pissed off would be like calling a hurricane spring showers. We started in the bedroom only, but it became clear after a short period of time that it couldn't stay there.

Me? I think that really I was just scared. It was easy to play around because that's what it was for me--play. And with him...While he can be a playful person, he does not play at D/s. Never has, and never will.

And last, but not least, a question from Petal's Master:
In everyday life is there something about you/your partner that might indicate your lifestyle choice? 

Mostly I would think that anyone familiar with D/s would pick us out because of our mannerisms with each other, and how our decision making process works. As far as physical things, I wear my collar every time I leave the house. It's a fairly fancy choker, and it doesn't look like anything besides a normal piece of jewelry. Though, I suppose that over time, people might come to wonder why I always wear it no matter what...

Thank you all for the questions! I am so happy that people are taking the time to inspire me. I needed it something desperate. So if there are any more....?

I'll be putting together a post with the questions for Alpha soon. I consider myself to be a very punctual person and he is...Not. so you know, aiming for sometime in the near future here.


  1. I'm very intrigued by his reaction to discovering you were playing around with D/s online. What were some of the rules he first implemented with you? Did he immediately declare you were his submissive? What was your reaction to that, if so? Or did it take a little bit of time before you both began calling it D/s?

    Did you ever ask to have any particular rules instituted? How did he react? Was there any hindsight is 20/20 on that?

    1. ksst,
      ooh...You don't ask the easy questions, do you?

      I'll try to get to this one soon.

  2. Thank you lil for your answers! I certainly understand the fear of it being "more real than I could handle".I knew my husband was bent this way for over 15 years and it was my fear of just how far he would go, that kept me from taking the leap into this with him. That is...until the last couple of years.

    1. little girl,
      you are quite welcome!

      It's worth the step of being brave. I think though, that perhaps it is the people who never stop to consider how far he might go, which end up in over their heads most often...

  3. is it bad of me that im chuckling at you having to pee in a cup every morning?, i wouldnt be laughing if it was me lol

    i have a question for you

    when you first started out was there any particular 'lightbulb moments' where upon you realised this was not pretend, were and are actually living it?....does that make sense?

    and for Alpha

    what pleases you the most about lil's submission?


    1. tori,
      damn straight you wouldn't be laughing if it was you! Hmph. :)

      Thanks for the question, and I'll get Alpha to answer his before the end of the month. I think.

  4. Loved the Q&A on this post. Brought up a few thoughts I thought were mine alone, silly me. Especially that "how far will he go" thing.

    1. Baby C,
      I usually find these Q & A posts to be quite fun--they certainly keep the inspiration flowing.

  5. oooh thank you so much for answering about the cup! i'm slightly fascinated with the idea. In a rabbit staring into headlights kinda way!

    1. Lol, mc kitten. You are quite welcome.

      In case I hadn't mentioned it--I hate the cup.

    2. is it hard to aim? just asking because I've had to pee in things plenty for pregnancy tests and I always use something much bigger and then pour it into the cup I've been given...

      Not that I need to know really cos I'm not going to be doing this. i mean, he wouldn't want to. I think. *Oh god I'm screwed face*

    3. mc kitten,
      lol. It gets easier. But still, right after stumbling out of bed before one's eyes are focused...


Play nice.