Friday, December 30, 2011

Is Randomness an Affliction? Cuz I Gots It...

I think it's fair to say that my mind has been a jumbled mess lately lol.

My car broke down. Again.

I am attempting to answer the age old question of, "is there such a thing as a medicaid dentist that does a good job?" I mean should it really be my job to point out every tooth that needs a filling, where that filling needs to be placed, and go back to try again because the dentist is older than God and forgot two fillings?
One of them once refused to treat my son because I wouldn't let them anesthetize him and cap all his teeth (the kid needed one cap and a couple of fillings for fucks sake).

Okay, I feel better now lol.

Underneath the jumbled mess that passes for my surface thoughts (think onions, you know, layers and layers, most likely leading to tears. Yep. That's me lol), I have been thinking about that feeling of craving. Just...Craving Alpha's presence.

We don't often spend nights apart these days, but I ended up having to stay in town because of the car (which incidentally made no sound or scary shaking when he arrived to drive it. Wtf is up with that?).
As I was trying to pass out on my moms couch with her cat staring balefully at me, I realized that, if I have to sleep without Alpha, I can't do it without thinking about him.

Being curled up to his back. The sound of his heartbeat. The touch of his skin.

And the cat's a prude who won't blink and keeps staring.

I think a few darker thoughts...But those won't help me sleep.

That cat's out for blood. I just know it...When I pass out she's gonna rip my throat out and present it to my mother as a sacrificial gift (sounds dramatic right. That cat's a psycho bitch, what can I say).

Think about the feeling of Alpha's hands sliding down my skin, his voice whispering desires and dreams in my ear.
The feeling of his eyes sliding across my skin, his hands in my hair, his thoughts caressing my mind...

Whatdya know, the cat didn't kill me in my sleep after all.


  1. Sorry but lol!! So glad the cat didn't kill you lil :)
    Ps: I sooo get the car thing! Hope you and Alpha had a good reconnection :)

  2. Me too - glad the cat didn't get you! We used to have one we called "Satan Kitty" she was so evil, so I can understand your concern!!! lol


  3. LOL, thanks so much for making me laugh. Hope you are better now that you are back with Alpha. And really what is it with cars only acting up when the guys are not around? Send the kitty here, I got a big ole dog that will put it in it's place, lol.

  4. Of course the cat didn't get you then, were expecting it. Cats are much sneakier than that! For God's sake don't turn your back...

  5. sunnygirl, me too. I got high aspirations huh lol.

    Dee, you are not sorry! And I don't mind in the least lol. The car...It's like they just know when the worst time to break down is and go for it lol.

    aisha, lol. This particular cat of my moms is infamous for being a bloodthirsty bitch. The children run from her.

    faerie, yw lol. And right? Luckily for me, Alpha tends to believe me when the car tries to make me look like I'm nuts lol.

    Jake, you know, I wouldn't put it past this particular cat...Though I admit her style is a bit more lulling--ask to be petted, revel in it for a few minutes, then rip your fingers off lol.

  6. Cats are evil- that is why we named ours "Darth Kitty"

  7. lol, we call her "the evil bitch," the kids call her "grandma's mean kitty!!"


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