Saturday, December 17, 2011


So here's the thing about rituals--they are unique to your beliefs.

Church every Sunday is a ritual for some. For my dad it was talking to his garden with a cup of coffee in his hand every morning.
My most regular one happens to be not talking to anyone before the first cup of coffee. Snazzy huh.

A ritual is something we do regularly that holds some type of meaning for us. They can be spiritual, compulsive, simple, or intricate. They fulfill a purpose for us, even if it holds no value for anyone else. And they are most often about our minds--head space is everything. Prayer is thought, meditation stills the mind, morning coffee keeps me from insanity with migraines, etc.

I had brought up the idea of submissive rituals about a week ago (sans whips and broken glass. Obviously if my morning ritual is coffee, kneeling naked in the snow on the doorstep every day is not going to work out), and Alpha didn't seem to pay much thought to it at all.

He had expressed so little interest that I didn't think he was going to come up with one for me. And consequences for forgetting?!
Well then...Me and my bright ideas lol.

So I now have three rituals--do not speak to me before coffee, taking a minute several times a day to breathe and focus on submission, and the kicker which is really simple and probably wouldn't have nearly the same affect on someone else.

At least I can't accuse my husband of lacking imagination...

Placing his finger under my chin, he gently tilted my face up. Smiling down at me he said, "once a day you will walk up to me, grab my cock and say 'I submit to you because ______'."
I'm the only person in this relationship with issues surrounding crudeness lol.

He put thought into it dammit! For me, this hits so many different angles, it's not even funny.
It makes me do something I don't normally do so pft to comfort zone. It makes me think and focus...And it makes me use words!*&^%%$

Funny how the least complex of actions can be capable of having the most impact.


  1. yes simplicity often breeds change

    I have to read my rules while I brush my teeth.

    And I just had a sudden urge to wear my collar.


  2. Sounds like he knows how to get right to you. seriously - this sounds like a really good way to keep you both connected to each other, and to the part of your mind that is always there, but gets drown out by reality sometimes.

  3. they always seem to be listening or processing what we say, even if we are unaware of it happening.

    3 is better than 0 :)


  4. I'm glad to hear that you steered away from broken glass and snow!!

    We haven't been able to talk about this issue yet... dang Christmas rituals have over ridden everything! ;o)

    I like yours... very simple and they all serve a purpose! Very cool!

    I've been reading around on the net, looking for ideas that might fit into our lives... dang there are some crazy people out there... makes me feel pretty vanilla!!! *giggling* ((hugs))

  5. these seem pretty achievable rituals lil? Albeit perhaps 2 easier to do than the 3 but if it works..... then :)

    Dee x

  6. That is fabulously lovely. i LOVE the rituals he chose, the meaning they have for you, and yes, i get how good it feels to realize they really have been thinking about it.


  7. mindset, do you find that having a specific time that you review your rules, as opposed to randomly, makes a difference in how you internalize them?

    gg, he does know how to get to me which I love...And also find mildly irritating lol. And I do think this might work rather well for us.

    faithful, I think I might go mad if he didn't actually listen to what I say lol.

    Mikki, Iknow right? Sometimes I come across stuff that makes me cringe and retreat safely to the shallows lol. And yes, no kneeling on broken glass in the snow here. Though frankly, I hate being cold so much that if I had to choose between the two, I would probably end up on glass lol.

    Dee, yes. Achievable was a major factor here. As to if it works, we shall see!

    aisha, thank you. And I do rather love that moment of realization when it hits that he was listening to me. Though it can be a bit of an "oh shit" moment lol. Depending on what I was saying...

  8. Awesome ritual- hope it leads to daily goodness.

    1. Well...The shit hit the fan shortly after implementing it, so it hasn't been a simple experiment lol.


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