With one of my usual insane leaps of thought, I started thinking about one's nature after a comment on one of my posts a while back.
Part of my nature...Who I am.
I think that when we talk about things that are in people's nature, we're really saying, this is something that is an inherent part of this person. It is something that can be adapted and modified by learning and circumstance; however, it will remain a fundamental aspect of who they are as a human being.
Ttwd has taught me a lot about my nature. Not all of them things I am pleased to admit. And I think that people sometimes go to great lengths to hide who they really are, to deny that which is indeed...In their nature.
Submission has always been in my nature. And yes, there's a raging pit bull in there. And to this day, it too is part of my nature. Simply because the first basic rule of living is survival.
One's true nature can be nurtured or repressed, it can be denied and hidden, it can be lied about and left in the shadows of who we say we are. But it isn't really going to change.
I get a fair amount of hits off the search "how to make my husband Dominant." It makes me smile because there was a day that search might have been mine. And I wonder if these women find anything useful here or if they meander back onto the web in disillusionment.
The truth is, you cannot make someone Dominant. Just as you cannot make someone submissive. You can encourage it, you can be the inspiration for light bulb moments of realization. But you simply will never be able to make somebody into something they are not.
Domination can be learned.
Dominance is part of one's nature.
Submission can be learned.
Being a submissive is part of one's nature.
I think that many of the issues we encounter in life come from our attempts to change the inherent nature of the people around us. And conversely, from our own denial about who and what we really are--our attempts to deny our own nature.
And yes, I am obviously one of those who is working on accepting their own nature.