Thursday, March 10, 2011

Capable hands...and some random bitching

I got a comment yesterday from Histoy, that really got me thinking. She said "it looks like you are in some very capable hands."
When it comes to all the serious life shit, I trust Alpha more than I trust myself. He's the person I run to for an opinion, a shoulder to cry on, a sense of right and wrong. You know, the place to go when I need someone to tell me it's Not okay to go all rabid bitch on random and irritating people lol. In many ways, He's my moral compass and how capable He is makes me love Him more.
I have spent a long time questioning and scrutinizing the judgment of everyone around me, including myself. I think that questioning is good. It keeps us from accepting things on blind faith and makes us look below the surface of things. But at what point does that questioning become an activity that is not beneficial? And where is it best to draw the line of who and how often you question? Hmmm, full of brilliant realizations this morning lol.

On a completely unrelated note, I will now be moving on to bitching about my lovely job. I had hoped to put in my notice next week and be gone by April, but that's just not going to work for us financially so it looks like I'm hanging on a bit longer. The thing is, I gots to get the fuck out of there before my boss gets me into deep shit. The latest fiasco revolves around pain meds (many of them do). I pick up his prescriptions for him. Lots of controlled substances. I give my id every time. I go back and count them out into weeks for him. Last month he took his 28 day supply in 2 weeks. Got more. Ran out early, and said "we counted wrong." On to this month. He has me count them out again to see how short he is (again). Then he tells me that the doctor refilling the prescription is going to tell the pharmacy that he needs more because of "attendant error." I resisted the urge to say "like hell she is!" went to clean the urinals, returned and informed him that when I called her to give her the amount he's short I would be telling her that, under no circumstance, was it acceptable to tell the pharmacy he's been going through pain meds like water due to errors on my part. Because the last thing I need is for them to think that I'm lifting his pills.
The sad thing is, this is actually one of the least serious ways he has tried to put my ass on the line.
On the bright side, Alpha may be able to pick up some work before I go postal and am known as "that woman who offed the sick dude." Lol.


  1. I hate dealing with the meds too! I hate feeling my ass is on the line at anyone's call with a simple lie or worse yet due to Alzheimer's. CYA girl. Anyway you can lock up his meds when you are not there?

  2. What she said- CYA. Can you get them refilled in smaller batches? Document his threats? I understand the completely stuck between rock and a hard place thing. Good luck.

  3. I second greengirl. Document, document, document. Send an e-mail to yourself, or to the doctor, for each issue, so you have an electronic "audit trail" that can be proven.

  4. Mindset,
    I wish I could lock that shit up lol. but it's a home-based program with no oversight so he controls his own intake of everything.

    yea, it's like an abusive relationship--no easy black and white, perfect way to go option lol. Thanks.

    I'm working on the cover my ass bits. Not quite as easy as it sounds most days lol. But important nonetheless.


Play nice.