Saturday, March 19, 2011

On-off switch and a question

I swear I have this little on-off switch in my brain. It quite annoyingly operates completely independently of the rest of my brain--apparently, I have no control over it whatsoever. Alpha does--though He's never trying to turn it off and sometimes it takes a ridiculous amount of effort for Him to turn it on. Lately, I have I think this is due in no small part to the sky--specifically its close proximity to my head and its new penchant for dropping boulders out of the blue.
Before people start suggesting breaking out the spoons and artillery lol, it has nothing to do with our "sharing" discussion (I don't share well with others. Maybe it's a side effect of being an only child lol).
The more stress, the more "off" my little switch turns.

Anyways, on-off switches and falling sky's aside, littlemonkey sent out a question the other day:

"How much physical damage is too much, for you? What are your limits on that? How much is too much? Where do you and yours draw the line? Bad bruising, welts, drawing blood, marks lasting a few days , or a few weeks, permanent scarring? What are your feelings on this topic?"

Hhmmm, I don't bruise easily, so anything that leaves a bruise has to be pretty rough. Occasionally Alpha teases me that He will just have to try harder next time. But I think He appreciates the marks that fade by morning or at least within a few days--He gets the satisfaction of seeing the fruits of His labor (translation: my pain and suffering), but no lasting concerns that it was a bit to much. Bruising is more a result of impact (I've seen some of those pictures littlemonkey, so I know you know all about it lol) and besides fingerprints on my skin for several days, impact activities don't factor in much for us.
While there is a nice assortment of knives in our toy box, bloodletting and scarring never come into play. Neither bloodletting or scarring are activities I would enjoy or am curious to experience. Though I wouldn't mind the lasting marks from such--they would just be a reminder to wear with pride. I doubt Alpha would be happy if He drew blood (which for my body equals scarring so the two activities would be one and the same for us). I think He feels that it would be excessive harm and it's His responsibility to draw the line right before that step. He doesn't find blood or the process of drawing it a turn-on, and I'm not really interested in being on the receiving end of such activities lol so there's no real appeal there.


  1. Oh the stress absolutely kills it for me too. Of course - that was one of the major issues before ttwd: lots of stress, lots of weight on the "off switch" and no ideas how to flip it. I'm pretty happy he's figured out the trick to it.

    It's funny - my husband likes the marks - he gets seriously bummed if bruises and marks (mostly bite marks) don't show up and last a few days. Unfortunately for him (and me), I don't bruise easily at all, I never have. I also don't think he's be so excited about blood, which is good, because even though i don't bruise easily - if i bleed, I scar.

    I hope the sky stops soon.

  2. Lil,
    We are also not that into bloodletting. Because I am married to an Englishman, caning is a primary method in our arsenal. But because I am also very fair skinned, I do indeed bruise and mark very easily. Which is not to say that severe punishments are out of the question. On the contrary, they do happen...and with frequency..due to my own selfish only child on/off switch!
    My point is that I too wear my marks with pride. This thing we that little catch something that has kept our marriage vibrantly happy and stress free for 15 years. If he wants to mark me up with his love, I am all for it. But he himself does not enjoy seeing his hand prints on me..but loves those little hairbrush circles! You know....

  3. Thanks Lil! I got so many responses I am going to add a page to my blog to get them all in.

    I hope the sky stops falling soon!

  4. lil, your sky is falling is such a good description for *that* feeling..


  5. greengirl,
    permanent marking takes on a whole new meaning when a scratch with one drop of blood scars huh. And thank you. I hope so too.
    Emily, I have found it rather amazing how much healthier and happier our marriage has been since discovering ttwd. It has made an amazing difference! Hairbrush circles...Hairbrushes should be outlawed across the world. Damn things hurt lol.
    littlemonkey, you are welcome and thank you. Sky better stop falling soon, I'm starting to get claustrophobic lol.

  6. k, missed your comment when I was replying. Must have hit send at the same time! Glad you like my descriptions.

  7. Thank you i saw yours came up as soon as i posted. Funny ^_^

  8. I have the opposite problem. It is really hard for me to switch my brain "off". The more worked up I get, the more manic I get, and the more I babble!

  9. Lea, Hmmm, For me, "off" is like out of sorts, not "on" so to speak. My brain is running like a river, but my submissivness is just out of sync. I don't babble, but I don't make sense either lol.


Play nice.