Consent is one of those topics that gets a fair amount of time under the limelight. A lot of people say that the biggest difference between BDSM and abuse is consent. I disagree. Even abusive relationships require consent. Now, I'm sure this will get plenty of people up in arms sputtering away and running to tell me how wrong I am and that's fine. But I'm still going to think I'm right lol. So slander my opinions if you want but this is an area where they are not going to change. I have spent far to much time on the phone in the middle of the night and watching Alpha go pack up their shit to believe that abuse does not require some form of consent from the abused partner.
Now, before everyone goes getting their panties in a twist, this post is not intended to be a dig at women in abusive relationships. It is simply my musings about consent and abuse just like the title says. My sister has become the poster board for the formation of my beliefs and I don't love her any less for it.
I will accept the concept that it is possible to be so abused that you can't tell up from down and lose the concept of what a healthy relationship is; that it is possible to be so afraid, that you stay with an abuser because of fear for your life or the lives of your children. I will not however, accept the concept that the biggest difference between BDSM and abuse is consent. Sure, no one says "lets spend the night breaking everything in our house in front of the kids while you beat the shit out of me, oh yay!" But when it comes to abuse, after a certain amount of time (the first time), staying equals consent. Before throwing things at the computer, or rushing to tell me how full of shit I am (be my guest, I haven't deleted a comment yet and don't really intend to start now), take into account how many times I have watched women go back to these shit relationships when they had gotten out and were offered every support necessary to start over without the asshole (aka abusive shit bag. Take your pick of terms, there are plenty to go around).
The long and short of it is, to be in an abusive relationship requires the consent of the abused as well as abuser. By staying with an abuser, the abused are giving their consent for the abuse to continue--whether they realize it or not. That's my opinion from both inside and outside of the situation.
I am not talking about when BDSM turns into abuse because that's not something I have any experience with and I would imagine the complications to be much deeper.
Since I have a house full of kids who are now beginning to stir, I'll end my ramblings here. I realize that I didn't go into the actual differences between BDSM and abuse but I'm always happy to share my opinions (because after all, I just Know that I am usually right). Rumor has it March is Q&A month here in blog land so if you want an excuse to throw more shit at your computer, ask away lol.