Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Game

My dad taught me how to play chess when I was 7 years old. It took me months of playing every day to beat him once. Then many more months after that to repeat my victory. Alpha and I taught our eldest to play when he was 4. He can win now when he's paying attention.

I still remember the first time Alpha and I played chess. I won. And He was surprised to say the least because He's good. Very good. Then I lost, several times lol. I'm not a gracious loser and He's a less than gracious winner (I mean, my pride is already wounded, there's really no need to rub it in is there?). We eventually got to the point where we simply would not play each other. It was so bad that we couldn't even be in a room with people learning how to play--we would each pick a player to mentor and it would deteriorate to the two of us squabbling over the board while the players themselves tried to disappear into the furniture regretting their questionable choice in having asked for assistance in the first place (hey, nobody wants to lose right, they could have been more appreciative and less squirmy you know).

Nowadays Alpha and I play the occasional game of chess. I'm more gracious about losing because I appreciate being Dominated by someone who can not only match me mentally, but win as well. He's a slightly more gracious winner (only slightly, I did say some posts back that the man is arrogant). I'm, well, I am about the same when winning as I was before--I figure I earned all my gloating by fighting for it tooth and nail. Though, perhaps I do rub it in a bit less than I used to. When He's on the losing end...Well, He's a bit less rabid about it. But only because He can guarantee me an ass whipping of another sort afterward lol.

Anyways, experiences aside, it's a wonderful game. It's not about luck, it's about strategy and skill. It's about the ability to plan ahead without getting so caught up in your plan that you lose sight of what's happening on the board because the game is always changing. Pieces move, some leave the board, one moment of inattention will cost you the game, and there's no taking moves back. It's about being passionate enough to invest your mind fully in the game, yet still achieving some level of detachment as you watch your castles fall and your knights get their heads chopped off (see, it really does reflect real life! Told you so). Because without the passion, it is not possible to develop your skills. And without the detachment, it is not possible to apply those skills (ahem, see any similarities between chess and D/s here?). Not that detachment is my strong point or anything...
You often learn more by losing than you do by winning. And if you consider yourself to be a good player, despite the sting of losing, you give more respect each time your opponent wins. Kind of like being submissive--the wrong move will cost you dearly, but the losses are acceptable because your Dominant is worthy of the wins. And, well, you do tend to learn more when you lose lol.


  1. Lil,

    I've been reading your posts for a while, but I don't think I've commented... I could be wrong, I can't keep track.

    Anyway, I like your analogy. It makes a lot of sense.


    P.S. People who can play chess impress me. I have no head for strategy and I think anyone who can play the game well (especially a 4 year old child) is a genius.

  2. That's great, so true. Passionate enough and detached enough.

  3. lil...My Master & i play games as well. Checkers was one of our latest...when i finally did kick his ass after much practice i admit It was a glorious Win and Pride well i was full of it. So now i challenge him any chance i have to the silliest of games. Like fruit ninja on i win (whoop whoop hands in the air and jumping) He will continue to play until he wins a match usually. I giggle endlessly on who is the true chanmpion and later on during a visit well we always see whose laughin last...winks!

  4. I love chess. I was the only girl in chess club in Jr. High. I am passable when I pay attention. All my children could play by the time they were 6 or 7, but now all of them, even the 9 y.o. beat me soundly. I am so happy to read about other people playing. In our age of RPGs so few people play chess anymore.
    I know, not a very D/s relevent comment, but I was just so glad to know there are other chess playing women out there who struggle with their competative natures ;D.

  5. Joss, Thank you for taking the time to comment. Glad my analogy made sense.

    k, I'm pretty good at passionate--not so great at detached. I'm a work in progress lol.

    A Journal, I love boardgames. And I must admit, I have a tendency to want to play until I win too. I may perhaps even be on record as saying once, that we were going to play until I won. I was called a game Nazi and told I took all the fun out of playing lol.

    littlemonkey, Yea, it's such a tossup with the kids. Once they start winning, you're super proud of them, but then there's also the little fact that you just got your ass handed to you by an eight year old which is hard for the competitive nature to reconcile with lol.

  6. Wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog, it's an honor considering the effortless wording of your post. Please stop by, join me and we'll continue to follow each other.


  7. Meagan, I try to respond to most comments, but somehow yours slipped through the cracks. Glad you enjoyed the post.

    Pygar, a classic first move.


Play nice.