Saturday, April 23, 2011

Here and now

I have a hard time just living in the moment. You know, not dwelling on yesterday or planning for tomorrow...just being in Now. One of the things I love about BDSM and Dominance and submission in general, is that it helps me get into that place where there is no past, no future, just the moment.

I got the call at work about halfway through my day. It was my sil crying and blathering on unintelligibly. Having only five minutes on my phone, with my first thought being "she's in the hospital or something has happened to the baby," I was rather insistent on being told what was wrong without a great amount of preamble. Turns out, it had nothing to do with her or the little one...
We haven't had any kind of death for over a week (a whole week, I know). One of Alpha's childhood friends had died. I went back to work--I'm not a cold hearted bitch, I'm practical and becoming a bit too familiar with death. Life among the living can be a bitch but kids still need to eat.
I did go home a bit early. And Alpha was down and a bit lonely because well, we have lost a lot of people over the last year. It's no small part of what gives life value though--The inevitability of death.

Here it is common to celebrate the day of the dead with colorful altars, pictures of loved ones who have passed on, and places set with food for them. On my way home, I was thinking--their food will have to go on a separate table this year, they are going to crowd out the living.

There's a lesson here (always is. Usually one that will build character in some way, so it's sure to be unpleasant lol). The lesson for those of us who remain? Live in the moment. Spend to much time dwelling on the sorrows of yesterday and the plans for tomorrow, and one day we will realize that we spent our whole lives without really living.

We learn from the past. It is good to plan for the future. But life? Life is here and now. In this moment. And that is all we are promised.

And that is one of the things I love about D/s--In those random moments when Alpha stops me short, grabs me by the hair, and forces me to my knees, there is only Him and me. There is only that moment. Nothing else. Because regardless of how many places are set for the dead, we are here now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, right now.


  1. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, Lil.

  2. Beautiful sentiment so wonderfully expressed. So true and such good advice, and yet so hard to do.

  3. littlemonkey, Thank you!

    poured out, thank you. And it is hard to do and much easier to offer as advice than it is to put into practice lol.


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