Considering the fact that everything from my throat to my twat seems to be breaking down, I should have been happy about the requested hand job--it's not hard on the back, there is no requirement for anything to fit in the mouth, and downstairs (there's no time like the present to develop a false sense of modesty) is left nicely alone to fight it's own little infection undisturbed.
The thing is, I'm ummm, absolutely no good whatsoever at them. I think I have made Him cum maybe twice with my hand over the course of, well, ahem, eek--12 years. You would think this would irritate Him far more than it does me. But I'm not sure that's the case. Being able to take the morning hard-on and completely kill it while attempting to do the opposite--it's a real blow to one's ego. I mean, men all over the world do it to themselves every day. It has to be the easiest way there is of getting off right?? It says something very bad when He would rather take care of Himself lol.
He should probably be the one complaining, but He's got no inadequacy complex so I'll fill in the blanks. I have a mild obsession with being good at anything I do (okay, so "mild" is an understatement, leave me my illusions). And I am most definitely not any good at giving hand jobs. In fact, it seems to be the easiest way in the world to get rid of that morning hard-on. "Sure, I'll help you out, I can fix that for you--no need to cum."
Damn the obsessiveness of being a straight A student, cooking the best food, being the best at my job, giving the best blow job, and just generally needing to be the best or not be at all. Because obviously, I am not the best at everything (I know, a real shocker right). And I absolutely hate having to accept it lol.
OMG -- not that I'm laughing at your pain
ReplyDeletebut until recently that's exactly how I felt about blow jobs -- and I had a partner who coached me through every second of it
it was very domly
and very hot
and he liked it as much as I did
and it rebuilt my confidence
but I know that's not helpful
here's the thing about hand jobs -- we don't have the right angle for it
also -- he's been doing it for (I don't know how old he is - but let's go with...) decades -- so yeah
he's good at it
oh -- and I don't think we use enough lube when we do it --
sorry for your pain
I suck at it too
sfp
Have you had him give you pointers or maybe just watch him do it to himself. That way you will see what turns him on. You might even enjoy watching him. My slut loves to watch me make myself cum. It makes her cum really hard if I cum while she is being stimulated. I hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteWilliam
LOL i am terrible at them too! Like William said, watching Him do it to Himself helps. my Dom likes to play with His favorite parts (of me) while i give him hand jobs, which helps too. (Presents a challenge in terms of angle and sometimes i feel like He wants me to be a contortionist, but it seems to work for Him, so okay.)
ReplyDeleteMostly, though, i just wanted to say that i feel your pain (not literally...ahem).
Hugs,
kytten
I used to be the same way about blow jobs as well. Now I am totally able to brag about my skill with them.
ReplyDeleteHand jobs on the other "hand"... I'm pretty sub par at them as well. Maybe you can watch and see how he does it and pick up some pointers?
Ah now hand jobs are something one does well... all those years of horse riding and massage, not to mention weight training, have given one a great hand. See this is where most women go wrong... they treat the damn thing like it is fragile. A firm hand, not a vice like grip (you aren't trying to choke the life out of it), is what is needed. And shake up the rhythm a little. Also watch your prey in action... in its natural habitat so to speak :D
ReplyDeleteAnother trick to try is get him to put his hand over yours and guide you a few times in the way he likes it. Good luck.
I think the biggest issues with us doing it for them is when they do it, they can feel and adjust to get what they want, how they want, etc...we're just guessing...
ReplyDeleteI found you here through sfp's blog. Clicking on her blogroll is always fun!
ReplyDeleteLast year I got fed up with my lack of handjob skills. Not that my man ever complained. I just never did them. They felt awkward and I wanted to fix that. I found the following site. Lots of options with visuals.
www.handjobadvice.com
Using lube makes a big difference. It was my lightbulb moment. Reading his body language helps too. The more you do it, the clearer the signs become. Hope the site helps. Good luck! :)
Master always ends up pushing my hand away and going for the mouth or some other convenient orifice.
ReplyDeleteI do know that I have the same feelings about receiving... it feels good but for some infuriating reason I just can't come that way. After what seems an eternity, I just get almost infuriated/panicked/in total agony. ...soooo close, just... can't... quite... I end up squirming like a worm on a hook, whimpering, begging, pleading for something/anything. It appeals to his inner sadist.
Just stumbled on your blog and I have the same thing - I've only ever been able to make my Sir cum from blowjobs or handjobs about twice in our relationship and I find it really frustrating!
ReplyDeleteLike your Sir, mine continues to request them despite this and it's important to remember that they can and do enjoy us giving them pleasure via our hands even if we can't quite make them cum. If they weren't pleased with it they wouldn't keep requesting it.
Definitely feel your pain; I know it gets me really upset at times :(
sfp, lmao, it's okay, laugh at my pain--that was kind of the point of the post.
ReplyDeleteWilliam, well, hand jobs have never been high up on the learning list as they seem to be about the least desirable way of getting off lol, so they haven't gotten all that much attention.
Kytten, being a contortionist is not my strong point these days--one wrong twist and I'm stuck lol. And it's nice that you feel my pain, and quite nice it's not literal lol.
Mockingbird, the problem with watching is it leads to involvement and it's never my hand lol.
Master's piece, you aren't trying to choke the life out of it?! My bad...
agog, I have never been good at guessing--it's like winning things, it only works for other people lol.
foxy, Ooh, a link. It's on now.
xantu, yea, same here--the orifices are just so muc more in demand lol. And as for receiving, eek--I hate it lol. it's frustrating and a tiny bit infuriating which is not accepted with good grace I might add.
Bunny, yea, dealing with feelings of inadequacy is not my strong point. I tend to be rather graceless about it.
I know I'm late to the game here, but I feel the same way! The other day, I feel like I tried EVERYTHING to get The Dom to climax.... and nothing. I've always felt particulalrly awkward with handjobs too. Plus, my hand gets tired, so I keep having to switch. I felt totally incompetent.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking that lube would make it so much easier, maybe I should really try that next time!
Lea, lol, yes, feeling incompetent sucks doesn't it. And I'm so glad to hear that someone else's hand get tired--it sounds kind of silly to say, but damn, after a while I feel like my hand's just going to fall off lol.
ReplyDelete