Sunday, April 24, 2011

Love is not always kind

I owe Eden Fantasys a review, but given my body's recent ridiculous aptitude for issues, that post will have to wait. So my readers will be subjected to more of my random ramblings.

I watched "The Secretary" last night, and while I was not terribly impressed with the movie itself, there was a line in it that got me to thinking (I know, it's a horribly dangerous pastime that I just haven't been able to give up). Ok, ahem, I'll have to paraphrase because, while the sentence did strike me, it was late at night and I had other things on my mind like the recent demise of the pricey and newly replaced parts on my car.
Anyways, this particular line was something to the effect of "who says that love has to be kind and gentle?"

It's a good question. Because one of the incredible things about love, is that it it takes many forms and can encompass so many other emotions. Sure, love can, and at times should be, kind and gentle. But overall, as an experience? No. Love does not always have to be soft. In fact, to confine it into such a simplistic and single-minded state, removes many of the possibilities love offers.

Love can be tender and gentle. It can also be savage and primal, without restrictions and thought. It offers a wider spectrum of experience than any other emotion--fulfillment, need, tenderness, pain, joy, sadness, companionship, loneliness, the list goes on.

In my experience, love can be a savage state of being. A place where reason often loses much of it's meaning and we are left with only the bare bones of human need and desire. Does love have to be either harsh or gentle all of the time? No, because it inherently contains both ends of the spectrum.For me, I find a mixture of both to be a fulfilling and wonderful state of being.

I do like my love a bit brutal. Not necessarily on the physical level (though hey, I'm not often complaining there), but in the sense of it being raw and unfiltered. It's not always pretty, but it has it's own kind of truth which is, in and of itself, a spectacular experience. There is purity to the pain that comes with love, both physical and mental/emotional. It takes some type of effort for love to be soft and kind (effort that is necessary and important at times), but love in it's raw and primal form is requires no filtering or effort--it

It's true you know--while there is a time and place for everything, love does not always have to be kind and gentle.


  1. How very right you are... give me dirty and nasty, and totally full of instinct, spontaneity and primal desire... too much kind and gentle... well its just too kind and just too gentle... you need the spectrum .... To not anticipate, the element of not know what is coming ... there is no substitution.

  2. Truer words might never have been spoken..<3


  3. As in all things there must be a balance...yin and yang, black and white...hard and soft.
    grand post Lil.

  4. nice blog... visited here with a smile, take care always... feel free to visits me back at (A Growing Teenager Diary)... thanks ~~~

  5. Gah, I meant to comment on this earlier but I got lost on the internet again.. :P

    I gist was, I very much liked this post. But I hated "The Secretary". Oy! But hey, it served some purpose by inspiring this, right? ;)


  6. Histoy, yes, it's very much all about the spectrum isn't it.

    K, ooh nice. Well I do try lol.

    Emily, balance is important isn't it. Both sides of the equasion are imortant to the existence of the other.

    Mr. Lonely, I sincerely hope you read the disclaimer up top lol.

    zelda, glad you liked the post. And yes, at least the movie did serve some purpose lol. I didn't think I was actually going to make it all the way through it. I guess one line of inspiration may be worth two hours of time...

  7. That was one of my favorite quotes from that movie.

    I actually really liked that movie! I don't think that every relationship *has* to be like that, but I liked the fact that it showed a tender side, as well as the kinky side. I think it showed something that was more 3-dimensional, and not just one sided. Too many people are so closed minded when it comes to this sort of thing, that at least there is SOMETHING out there that I don't think is huge and scary to reference.

  8. Lea, I guess there's some scary stuff out there lol.
    My biggest problem with the movie was the portrayal of the masochist--the first scene being her getting out of the mental institution, suggesting that it requires mental instability to be like that (not that everyone's stable or couldn't be functional after something like that, or it made her less of a person, just the overall concept I guess). Also that she was such a, well, spineless character. I guess we are all damaged, some more than most, but still...
    Though I will say that I did like the little part where he forbids her to cut--it was a pretty good portrayal of the kind of dynamic in which a person can cause another pain yet also be looking out for them.


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