Sunday, April 3, 2011


So I had some things bumbling around in my brain, then I started thinking about being accepted for who you are. I'm going to tie the two concepts together and hope they make some kind of sense. I am probably repeating myself, and maybe it won't come out all wrapped up in a pretty little bow, but that's okay because Alpha's crushing my various cute little boxes anyways lol.

One of the things I enjoy about reading blogs is the vast range of perspectives on ttwd. I come at it from the angle of a married submissive in a (so far) monogamous relationship. Because that is what I know and it has become who I am. So that is the point of view that I write from.

Alpha is insistent that I submit to Him. He also demands that I pretty much dominate anyone else I cross paths with which didn't used to be a stretch at all for me. But I have found that it is kind of difficult to switch rolls--so half my days off are spent resetting my frame of mind back to being submissive. By the time I'm completely back in my place, it's time for me to go back out and be a dominant force in the day to day grind.
But could I ever submit to someone else were I given the opportunity to do so? I doubt it. While the only men I seem to find attractive are Dominant, it is only from the safety of my submission to Alpha that I can accept that attraction as part of my nature.
For us, some limits took no discussion. There are simply lines that we both know we will never cross because that's just who we are. As far as those hard limits go, the list is short and mulling them over was never really necessary. There is one though that He's quite adamant about and doesn't really fall into the realm of obvious "no's"--that I will never be Dominated by another man. Quite notably, the clause is "another man," not "another person." Which I find somewhat objectionable. Because were I ever to be in the position of being Dominated by another woman, that would mean he was fucking her and, well, I may just have to rip out her eyes should she attempt to exert any form of control over me (hey, there's times it's hard enough not to reach for the implement in His hand and try to beat Him with it tyvm).
It is the concept of being Dominated by Alpha, and only Him that makes me comfortable saying "I am submissive." It gives me security to know that my submission is something belonging to Him alone and within the vast confines of such knowledge, that I can give all that I am (I am well aware that this is somewhat contradictory to my previous paragraph and I don't really care because I never claimed not to be completely contradictory lol).
Now here comes the bow (I was never that good at wrapping shit, so it may not be smooth and pretty lol). Knowing that He accepts me for everything that I am and will stand by me no matter what allows me to be as open with, and trusting of, Him as it is possible to be. I can be myself--whore, princess, obsessive, strong, weak, nice, mean, stupid, smart...And it's okay because He wants me unfiltered and honest. Above all, He wants me to be myself. That doesn't mean there's nothing He finds objectionable and strives to change, or that He doesn't expect me to muzzle my excessively sharp tongue objectionable statements, it does mean that He loves me for who I am--not who I may want to be perceived as being.

And that is why submitting to one works for me. Though, Him only Dominating one was never part of the bargain...but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I'll try not to throw molotove cocktails at it if I see it looming on the horizon lol.


  1. You know...your musings about your relationships create in me a need to strive for better submission within my own marriage. And I thought I was getting somewhere too!

  2. I completely understand what you are saying lil, but my situation as regards relationships is very different. I am married, and I also have a vanilla lover. This may sound shocking. OK - it is shocking (even to me when I stop to think about it). But I believe our stance on submitting is probably the same. There is only one who can truly receive it. I am looking (may have found) the one. It is not a game and requires true dedication and persistence. I admire yours and envy you that you have made it work within your marriage.

  3. Master and I had talked about me submitting only to Him, I feel the same way you do on that subject. Then He told me if there were anyone else that were to dominate me it would be at His request, they would be dominated by Him and in turn so would I.... So if they are just following His orders, does it count?

  4. Emily,
    We're all getting somewhere. That's the wonderful thing--same general direction, unique path.

    So true--it is not a game and it's really a shame (dangerous as well), when people treat it as such. I hope you have found what you are looking for.

    Naida, good question. I have been told something similar. I'll have to muse on that one lol.


Play nice.