Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sorry

Is there anything better than a public apology? Well, I know blow jobs are the best apology. But public apology has to place somewhere right?

So,
my love,
I'm sorry for the way I have been lately.
I know I can make anything complicated. And this shouldn't be such a struggle. It isn't usually is it?
And I don't want to blame it on the headaches; I don't want to blame it on those horrible invading hormone monsters; I don't want to blame it on the mess that life can be; or my difficulty adjusting to every damn change of season.
I want to own my mistakes so I don't repeat them. Over and over and over again.

I know that I'm a lot of work. And I like to think that I am worth it. But some days I wonder you know?

The truth is--I love you more than words can tell.
I wish that I could be everything you want and need.
But I'm just lil old me. 

And I am truly sorry for the week we have had. Sorry for the "no," and the words I said or didn't say between then and now.

You don't know how much I desire to please you. And I am aware that is really my fault. Because I don't express it easily and I can be so reluctant.

We have walked a long road to here and now. But I wouldn't take back any step along the way--because that is how we got here. To today.

I love you.

And I am sorry.

9 comments:

  1. Wow this post was like looking in a mirror. I have felt this exact same way. You are worth the work.

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  2. I know if my girl wrote that to me I would melt.

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  3. "Blow jobs are the best apology", love this, blowjobs are also the best thank you. I think we all(women)wonder if we are worth the work sometimes. My man would give a resounding yes, and I hazard a guess so would your's. Besides if they didn't have us to contend with day after day what would they do? We keep life interesting.

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  4. Very heartfelt post lil and a very novel way to say sorry. I'm sure he will appreciate your effort.

    Dee x

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  5. That was a very nice letter, lil, and I'm with Sir J on his comment. Actually, a letter like this and a blow job are the best apology.

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  6. What a wonderful blog. Such a heartfelt confession and apology. Think anyone would be lucky to be reading such words from their love.

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  7. babygirl, we all need to take a look in the mirror occasionally huh. And thank you.

    Sir J, I like to think that I have come a long way from being completely incapable of apologizing. It's only taken umm, 12 1/2 years to get to this point. Ahem.

    faerie, lol, yes--the best apology, the best thank you, the best wake-up call, the best goodnight, damn the list in never ending lol. And life should be interesting, right?

    Dee, thank you. And well, I did end up having to provide both possible apologies lol.

    Jake, lol, "a letter like this and a blow job are the best apology." That's pretty much what Alpha said too.

    mijena, thank you.

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  8. Hugs! We vhave to mess up sometimes to prove we are all human...

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  9. viemora, thank you. I apparently have no problem proving my humanity lol.
    hugs,

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Play nice.